As we say goodbye to 2016, and I do my level best to find some levity in the whole thing, I’ve come to a realisation, although I think the rest of the world got there before me. Nostalgia is the cure-all for the present tense.
It’s a time of year when we look back, in order to look forward. And I’m looking back so far in blogging terms that I’ve given myself a crick in the neck. It was January 2014 when I did my first Book Title Generator. Such a long time ago. I haven’t done a new generator since then…
…until now.
It’s festive, and it’s my gift to you.
It’s the Christmas Book Title Generator.
My thanks go out to Anne R. Allen, whose idea this was. Because I can’t believe my luck, but I was invited to guest-blog over at her house once again this year, and I brought my book title generators with me. Along with the new Christmassy addition, there’s also a bit of a skit on how to journey through them over the festive season – hop over and have a look. (Stay awhile and browse around while you’re at it. Anne’s blog is one of the best resources for writers around. And did I mention she’s lovely?)
It’s a factory of delight just to be asked to guest on such a big blog in the first place, but to do this at Christmas is the marzipan on the antler. Do you know how smug this makes me?
I mean, really. You know that girl who just got engaged but can’t tell anyone about it until after they’ve gone and bought the ring and told their families? That smug.
You know the guy who’s been told he’s getting a raise which is going to make his colleagues green with envy and probably threaten to resign? That smug.
You know the dog who’s out for a long walk in damp woods with his most favouritest owner, who’s just been told he’s the bestest boy in the whole wide world? That smug.
In case you’re wondering, my title is Where Elves Might Rejoice. It would appear I am the mistress of some awfully equivocal elves. I’ll be having a word.
Hope you enjoy the generators. And if you haven’t seen any of them before, now is the time to dip in. Enjoy!
Tara Sparling writes 
I am so far in arrears with blogging that I thought I’d start with the latest. My title: Or Icicles Never Glisten (maiden name) Whisper (married name)… not sure it’s a best seller! I had to look up the day of the week of my birthday, so there’s a whole lot of stuff I never knew added to my day already!
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You were first in here, Hilary, so that balances everything! I agree, your book may not be a blockbusting smash hit. Having said that, those titles are perfectly serviceable – just look up the TV guide for Christmas movies and you’ll probably see it there already. What were the chances of your icicles glistening or whispering? I’m just waiting for the barrage of abuse when somebody’s icicles listen or rejoice. They’ll want my guts for garters.
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It looks like “Some Sugarplums can Glisten” will be my first highly inappropriate foray into Christmas publishing. It will be targeted towards a niche but highly enthusiastic audience.
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Ooh, I say, that’s a cracker, Dylan! I’m sure you’ll be able to pull it off and fill that niche admirably, oho, haha, etc. I’ll stop now.
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‘Where Reindeer Must Gleam’. I love it! A song lyric maybe? Lullaby? Happy Christmas!
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The first thing that came into my head for that was an ad for toothpaste for some reason. Shows you how my mind works! Happy Christmas to you Sarah!
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Where Sugarplums must dance…. Sounds a tad raunchy….!!!!
Sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk the other night. I was looking out for you afterwards but couldn’t spot you.
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I was chauffeuring a VIP, Derm, so unfortunately under orders to skedaddle fairly lively! Perhaps we might have the good fortune to bump into each other over Christmas? Although there’s a chance I might be too busy if there are sugarplums dancing all over your neck of the woods. Just sayin’.
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Ha! Tara, spotted this on twitter and was about to forward to you when I discovered you were the author. Of course *smacks own head fiercely*
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
TOTAL DOMINION OVER THE INTERNET IS MINE!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Excuse me while I go and start a flame war……………..
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Phew. I fear you were going to hurt me.
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Gosh no. I have minions for that.
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“When Wishes May Shine.” I really prefer the next verb down in the list which would give me “When Wishes May Sparkle.” So I guess I’ll have to do a series. Romance, obviously.
But I refuse to go all the way down the list and end up with “When Wishes May Tinkle.”
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For a very small fee – say a hand-woven quilt the size of a football field, say – I could be persuaded to change the generator so that you get sparkle instead of shine. Of course, you could just pick and choose whichever words you like right now, but we both know that would be unethical. Tinkle or no tinkle.
Merry Christmas 😉
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Hmm, which project to start first? The handwoven quilt or the blockbuster romance series??
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I know. Tough call. But I trust you to make the right one.
I truuuuust you.
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I don’t know what day of the week I was born. We didn’t keep records back in the old days. How old am I? Anyway it’s “Not sure Sugarplums would Gleam.” Definitely a heartwarming tale about losing everything then discovering the real meaning of Christmas at the last minute. 🙂
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I’m not sure about the Not Sure, Diana, but otherwise, it seems just the perfect sort of nonsense to get one through the holidays. I hope you have lots of fun with the real meaning of Christmas. I got some last year, but I’d asked for meaningless debauchery, so I don’t mind saying I was quite disappointed.
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For others who don’t know the day of their birth, maybe there’s a clue in the old rhyme: Monday’s child is fair of face, Tuesday’s child is full of grace, Wednesday’s child is full of woe, Thursday’s child has far to go, Friday’s child is loving and giving, Saturday’s child works hard for a living, But the child who is born on the Sabbath day is bonnie and blithe and good and gay.
According to this, I was born on a Saturday. Therefore, my Christmas title is ‘If Holly Boughs Must Jangle’… well, I guess December is probably the best time for such frivolity..
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Damn holly boughs. Jangling away like they haven’t a care in the world. But if you manage to put manners on your boughs, Veronica, there might be a whole series of motivational non-fiction in it. You can thank me later.
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If Snowflakes Shall Shine. Thanks a lot, I lost both sets of dentures three times trying to say that…
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Hahaha!!! Next project: tongue-twisting titles. Sorry about your dentures, Jane. They obviously have no appreciation for literature.
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‘kay… So Snowflakes Might Delight for the real name OR So Reindeer Might Whisper for the nom de plume de ma tante. Niiiice! 😛
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They worked out entirely too well, Jan. I might get notions about myself.
Ooooops… too late.
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If Silver Bells Must Listen… sounds like a very bad M&B romance. Or worse… 😂
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Is there worse than very bad, Ali? After all, there’s money in bad romance. Depressingly large amounts, or so I hear. I’ll settle for 15%, but only because I like you.
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I was found in a dustbin so I do suffer greatly when somebody tries to make fun of me by asking what day was I born. Shame on you Sparling.
I have worked my way through arduous committee meetings using the the Business Bullshit Generator. It makes some of the more stultifying meetings bearable and even enjoyable.
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I’m surprised at your lack of imagination, Conor. Surely the day you were found in the dustbin could be used as proxy? There are more than you that have Dustbin Days, and quite frankly, I’m shocked that you could be so insensitive as to make an issue out of it.
I’d like a look at the Business Bullshit Generator. It might function as a translator in my office.
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I apologise for my lack of proxy. We now have three large bins of differing colour. The politically correct wouldn’t know in which one to dump the child. I feel sorry for the youth of today.
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I don’t. We only had the one bin to dump children in, but we were glad of it.
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Where chestnuts never gleam?
🙂
Seriously?
🙂
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Deathly serious, Equinoxio21. Have you not heard of the Curse Of The Dull Chestnuts?
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Nope. By H.P. Lovecraft? A room with impossible angles and chestnuts cooking in the chimney?
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Well, I was thinking of the one with the homicidal armoires high on furniture polish, but fair enough, yours should do.
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Homicidal armoires? It is true one can get high on polish… 🙂
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It’s a big problem where I live.
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Dear Lord. What is the Police doing? 😉
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Oh, something completely different. Glass cleaner, I heard.
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You mean shining their windshields? 🙂
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Mine is ‘Where Icicles May Delight’, which sounds like an adult version of Frozen, if you know what I mean. 😀 Very Christmassy, Tara, I am in fact listening to a Christmas song while writing this comment, so it’s all coming together.
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Excellent, Helen. I think the title song of your title sounds quite operatic. I’m looking forward to the full rendition, which I’m sure you’ll be posting on your blog directly.
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Working on it as we speak, Tara ;-D
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Could we exchange names? Mine seems to be, “When Spirits Can Ring.” I wonder if I should wait by the door or the phone.
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By the bar, would be my best guess, Nick. Mine’s a G+T. Thanks.
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Cheers, love!
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Some Wishes Can Jingle. You know, no matter how hard I try, I can’t find any hint of innuendo in there. But I think the film version was on TV one afternoon last week
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I have failed you, Graeme. I’m so sorry. An innuendoless title is like a Christmas tree without an AK47. I can say nothing to redeem this, the biggest disappointment if 2016. I can only (pause for dramatic sob) promise to do better in 2017.
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I’ll let you off this time. But I’ll be paying attention in 2017.
In the mean time, have a great Christmas and New Year!
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Well, great’s not usually my thing, but all right then. I suppose I should wish you many happy returns.
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“If Baubles Would Glow”… I’m delighted I got two components that are borderline saucy when combined – I can definitely fashion a romp of some sort out of that. Now I just have to track down that Business Bullshit Generator for work..
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Good grief. I didn’t see those glowing baubles coming. I blame Rudolph.
Let me know if you have any hassle with the Business Bullshit Generator. There’s a good hundred going spare where I work.
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What about “If Snowflakes could Dance”?
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