On this, the third Monday of the year – so-called ‘Blue Monday’, dreamed up by some marketer somewhere selling something – I’d like to remind everyone out there, who thinks that they would be happy if only they were richer or thinner (or both), that money can’t buy you everything, as evidenced by this shocking photograph I took in a deli in New York.
You’re welcome.
Blue Monday….pfffft!
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Yep. I second your pfffft, Donna. It’s such a load of tosh, isn’t it?
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Absolutely
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Ah yes, how we languish in our resolve to be Good People.
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Or laugh at the resolve of others in the event we are the sort of people who never resolve to do any good.
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Always better to be the laugher than the laughed at 😉
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Does anyone remember when kale was only for cattle? You knew your family was on the skids if it appeared on your dinner plate… 😛
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I remember when it was only for Germans, and only certain regions at that. I almost tripped over a bale of it in the supermarket the other day. Some customer was about to get even more miserable.
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Is there nothing sacred left in the world? If we can count on neither money nor thinness to make us happy, what else is there? Surely you jest, my dear, and this awful photo is photoshopped by Hippies such as yourself. I’m sooooo telling a certain power couple on you…
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You wouldn’t dare. They still own your butler, remember.
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And gardener. And pilot. Don’t remind me.
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Imagine how many people asked for kale juice before the owner of that shop decided to make a sign!! Kale juice straight up would be pretty nasty anyway – the world will somehow survive without it. 🙂
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Hmmmm. Could Gwyneth Paltrow live without it? Doubtful. One thing’s for certain, Diana – whoever asked for 100% kale juice will never be invited to my house. And I don’t want to know what they had for Christmas dinner either.
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tofurky and…kale. 🙂
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Mmmmmm. Just… vile.
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Is probably good for you. Make mine a double, with some onion and asparagus thrown in! 😛
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Isn’t onion and asparagus cheating though? I’ll have to consult the gurus.
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Imagine drinking a boxfull of kale, or spinach (well, maybe if you’re Popeye. Or Devon Woodcomb).
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Well, I would, but I’m trying to cut down.
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See this is why I’ve almost quit writing to my blog anymore. You pop up a photo about people wanting to drink kale and the internet practically shuts down from the green veggie revulsion (which I totally share, don’t get me wrong).
I crank out a frickin’ thesis on the deep inner meaning of “Dracula”, or show you close-up shots of hand-painted figurines complete with backstory, and I get two FB shares and a yawning-sloth emoticon.
Maybe it’s my posts that need to get thinner… THEN I’d be happy.
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‘Twould make you sick, wouldn’t it, Will? It certainly made me sick, which is why I now pander to the whims and vagaries of the internet masses and will no longer post anything that can’t be condensed into either one image or a hashtag of less than 12 characters on Twitter. Honestly. It’s easier that way. My therapy sessions alone have reduced by 50%.
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Yikes😬
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Yup 😜
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I love the “Sorry for the inconvenience”. We’re very sorry we can’t make much juice out of something that has almost no juice in it. Next time we’ll try to do better.
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I know. It’s not even passive-aggressive. I was so disappointed.
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One Black Dog sends his love on this Blue Monday!
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That, Jean, is Stantastic 😘
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HaHaWoofaWoofa
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What is a kale exactly? Some sort of desiccated marsupial? Tree hugging locust that recycles its own urine? I hear there are health benefits to a kale so maybe it’s a self exercising, pre dieted ruminant (with its own wellies). I await guidance. PS I tried to milk a spinach last summer but it’s now in local authority care.
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“What is a kale exactly? Some sort of desiccated marsupial? Tree hugging locust that recycles its own urine?”
First cousin of butternut squash. Guardian reader. Subscriber to National Geographic. Votes Greens/Lib Dems and has a beard.
Tara, thank you for bringing some much-needed perspective into my life.
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I couldn’t possibly top the Department’s explanation of kale, Geoff. It’s taken me this long to stop laughing and reply. But I will be referring to milking spinach as my favourite hobby for the foreseeable. I’m forming a club, if you both are interested?
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Yes please. I take a reckless pleasure in the degradation of vegetables.. That’s what you meant, right?
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But it’s artisanal veggie milk. Ethically sourced. On the packet, at least.
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Yes quite. I had a starter ‘knit your own muesli’ kit for Christmas which recommended I use just that product line.
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Knit your own muesli. Ingenious. It’s the mass-produced T-shirt of the decade, I’m telling you.
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This really tickled me! I wonder how many times they were asked for this before they reached breaking point
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My estimate is 50+ times. Anything less could hardly result in a sign given a population of that size. And yet still so polite…
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If I had the money I’d open a hipster cafe and serve stuff with fancy names, knowing all the while the raw ingredients have come out of a bricklayer or scraped off the roof of an old caravan. All I need is a pithy ironic name.
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Hmmmm. A pithy ironic name. How about Ferrous Fueller?
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Has potential. Could even develop an artisan beer: Fueller’s . . . oh, hang on.
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Let’s just throw it over to the guys in Marketing and see what doesn’t happen, eh?
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Always worked in the past.
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That’s a relief, now I can go to bed happy.
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That is literally the first time anyone’s said that to me, Hilary. Thank you 😉
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I remember once trying grass juice (yes, the green stuff in your lawn) at a juice bar in California. There’s not much juice in grass, and it doesn’t taste nice. At all.
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Are wheatgrass shots still a thing? They taste disgusting, but you feel kind of virtuous drinking them (though they have no proven benefits).
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This was a long time ago, in the 90s. And yes, there is a kind of virtuous glow.
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The only possible explanation for somebody thinking grass juice was a good idea was that they had either just spent seventeen years in a desert prison, or were convinced they were going to be reincarnated as a sacred cow.
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Blewww, kale…even the thought of…and I live in a country where they love kale (Netherlands), famous everyday veggie, used for quite some…hmmm, dishes?! No thanks. And then making juice?! Seems a terrible idea to me.
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But it’ll make you thin, which is obviously all that counts.
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Hahaha, these days even more than ever, hence the growing number of anorexia patients. The idea must come from their beloved smartphone manufacturers: thinner, lighter, less durable, yay!!
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