Following on from last week’s post, which made us all envision a team of fresh-faced enthusiastic writers, chucked into the lion’s den that is a London hedge fund, I found myself wondering what their office would be like.
Would it be a triumph of modernist minimalism, all glass and chrome, with the odd adornment of bamboo? Or would it be a throwback, stuck somewhere around 1997, festooned with greys and beiges, with undeniably depressing motivational posters adding to the gloom?
And then I thought – this hedge fund seems to have thought things through quite a lot already. They have the psychometric tests all lined up and ready to go. Mightn’t they be more likely to go for something a little less obvious?
Of course they would.
I therefore now present to you – the Demotivational Posters of the Hedge Fund Writers’ Office.
Oh, these are fun! I can see a whole gallery full of these 🙂
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I had that feeling myself, Nick, once if started 😳
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
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Simian shout-outs of thanks!
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OOOK, Tara 😄😄😄
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How wonderfully Pratchett !!
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YOOOP 😄
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Loved these.
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Excellent. Hope you’re feeling sufficiently demotivated.
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Reblogged this on Viv Drewa – The Owl Lady.
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Thanks for the re-blog, Viv.
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You’re very welcome, Tara!
Hugz on owl wings! @v@ ❤
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Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author.
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Much re-blogging kindness! Thank you Jeanne
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Seems about right, sadly, Tara. I think these could all work as promos for that fictional writers reality show I pitched a while back ;-D
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Not just pitched, Helen – SOLD! (to me, anyway). Every new season that doesn’t deliver on your writers’ reality show is a disappointment to me worthy of a demotivational poster all by itself 😉
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I know, I know – I really do need to get on with it. Fame and fortune undoubtedly await… 😉
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Oh, indubitably. And then some, I would say. 😀
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😀
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Never seen it put better! Linking this in tomorrow’s blog; the newbies I write for will love it…
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Oh, excellent stuff, Jack. There’s nothing more inspiring than demotivating the newly enthused. 😛
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Hey, the sooner you lose that “rich and famous” dream, the easier it’s going to be!
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I couldn’t agree more. Except perhaps if you’d ended that sentence with ‘to live in penury and despair’
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Nah. Better to leave it open-ended, for that one-in-a-million that’s going to make it!
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😀 😀 😀
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thanks for the re-blog 😀
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Or “Think you’re a writer?” “Hahahahahahaha”
How about, “You paid how much to enter that competition?”
“If you can take rejection you can be a writer.”
Writers… all you need do is write. And come up with a plot, write it, edit it, re write it, edit it, almost show it to someone then hide it under your bed for the remainder of your lifetime.
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You’re hired, Tric! Wanna be chief honorary copywriter? For like, no money, and only occasional beatings???
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Sign me up.
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Oh, I did that already. It was a rhetorical question. 😀
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I don’t think these aren’t on the hedge fund office walls. They’re on the walls of the bar next door. 🙂
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That’s a good point, Diana. And possibly also a good pint. I was quite thirsty, in fairness. 😛
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The hedge fund should invest in the bar, too! They win if the writer becomes a star, and win if they don’t. 😀 Is my cynicism showing? ha ha.
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Just a little, Diana. But you’ll need a whole lot more if you’re going to make it investment banking 😉
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SELL THESE!!! Honestly. You’ll make some dough. Oh wait. We don’t have money to pay you.
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It’s a flaw in my business plan, I admit, Melodie. I may have to turn to extortion. I believe it’s big in some circles.
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The hedge fund is surely going to give you a pension in gratitude.
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Never mind the pension – I’ll happily settle for several big fat annual bonuses instead 😂
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How about:
“Be PROUD of writing a book, a chapter, a page, a sentence.
Be proud because…
…NOBODY ELSE GIVES A F**K”
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It’s good, Nick, but could you tighten it up a bit? I don’t want to criticise, but this is writing, so…….
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How about “STOP BLOODY WHINING!” ?
We could lose the ‘bloody’ if you think it’s overlong?
🙂
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Now you’re singing my song 😂
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Haha! Great post! I needed a good laugh. Yet p, there’s truth there…
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The best truth always hurts, doesn’t it Aislynn?!
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Feeling wonderfully demotivated and liberated now, thanks Tara. I can see these on the backs of toilet doors, which is where many writers seem to find inspiration. One glance at these and they’d soon realise their ideas are pants, or a pile of sh**e. Your work is done… dare I say good job? Oh I do love a bit of toilet humour! Seriously though, have you ever thought about going into advertising?
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Oh my Blog yeah, Ali, I even tried it once, but got fired before long. Apparently I had a serious professional handicap called ‘a penchant for the truth’
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Awesome stuff. Do they come laminated or framed?
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Both, but only together, Nick. For safety. Otherwise they burn too quickly.
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That’s fine. I only want them as gifts for writers who are more talented than me. Who knew there’d be so many of them…
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OMG. I’m going to be RICH!!!
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Lol love these.
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Glad to hear it, Charlie!
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lol … love ’em
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Glad to hear it 😬
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