Superblogger Chapter 6: How To Dress to Impress (The Haters)

Superblogger Chapter 6: How To Dress to Impress (The Haters)

I can SHOE you…

Well, hi there, fashion fans and faithful fabulous followers!!

Yes, that time is here – it’s time for FASHION TIPS, peeps, and I can already hear the cheering from where I’m sitting (in case you’re wondering, yes, I’m in another super luxury resort – and no, I didn’t pay for it!!). It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: clothes prose from the one with the nose for a pose!

Once upon a time, the parks, back alleys and dark industrial laneways of our capital cities were filled with hobos and streetwalkers. Nowadays they’re full of fashion bloggers. I’ve learned that nothing will sell a quirky outfit like a dirty brick wall and an overflowing skip, but an autumnal shoot in the park will make vintage luxe handbags disappear off the shelves like they’re on the endangered list.

My own favourite backdrop is whichever 5-star hotel I’m staying in at the time (like the one I’m in today, LOL!). I always take time out of my busy schedule to take photos in these exotic locations and change things up on the blog, and I’m blessed to have the opportunity to wear beautiful clothes in some of the most beautiful locations in the world. #LoveLifeLoveFashion

Superblogger Chapter 6: How To Dress to Impress (The Haters)

When it comes to shoes, always pick your angle wisely

Fashion blogging isn’t all about photoshoots, though. Sometimes between shoots, editing, planning and posting, I could be working flat out for two hours. But hey, we wouldn’t work so hard unless we loved it, right? #WorkHardLookFabulous

So some people think fashion bloggers do nothing but hang out in haute couture all day. Some days I do, but most days I’m hanging around in tatty sweats which are probably going to get me arrested for laundry crimes.

I can almost see you shaking your head. I know this is hard to believe, but some days I don’t even get dressed. I just hang out in my Nepalese hand-spun cotton PJ’s all day. Those are the only days I don’t take photos of myself. #PicsOrItDidntHappen

But when the camera comes out, the magic can happen. And when you get that perfect outfit for nothing – whether the designer sent it to you, you borrowed it, or you got the whole thing from a chain store for less than the price of two champagne afternoon teas – your fans are going to LOVE IT!

Superblogger Chapter 6: How To Dress to Impress (The Haters)

Top Tip 1: Don’t Follow The Trend: MAKE The Trend!

I’ve always been ahead of the posse when it comes to fashion trends. Nobody was wearing their underwear outside their clothes until I did it (except Superman, LOL, but he was super retro about it, so I guess we’ll forgive him!)

We all know that I was the first person to popularise kale collars. I’m also credited by Louise Vuillon for the success of her ‘Knock-it-OFF’ range of handbags and scarves (which you can now incidentally order direct from my Etsy shop – while stocks last!)

Anyway, I know when you’re starting off as a fashion blogger that it can be really difficult to get content for your blog. My golden rule is – if I’ve seen it twice, it’s a trend; and if it wasn’t already a trend before I said it, it’s going to be a trend afterwards, so that’s pretty cool. #BloggerPower

But on a more personal level: what do you wear before your brand becomes influential enough for free stuff?

What’s your style #inspo when all you have are the pathetic, lousy, laughable, boring, no-label contents of your own wardrobe?

This is where I let you into a little secret.

#drumroll

Want to be a pioneering blogger? Want to get ahead of that stampeding posse?

Don’t style and photograph the outfit you’re wearing today.

Blog about what you’ll be wearing tomorrow.

And that’s how you get ahead in fashion.

 

Top Tip 2: Look Like a Model

You guys, when fashion blogging started, it was a totally different world, where ordinary-looking people blogged about their personal style and became superstars in the process.

I guess there was a market for weirder looks, back then, even though it was hard sometimes for designers to make their clothes look good on, like, unfiltered people.

But in no time at all, thankfully fashion blogs got taken over by the social influencer royalty of today: models, stylists, and fashion photographers. Which is so good for young people, because now we have all the #inspo we need to look extraordinary, instead of plain old ordinary people who might even be bigger than a size zero. #NoThanks

So my 2nd top tip for success in fashion blogging, is to look like a model! Lose that weight and filter your selfies – and in no time at all, YOU will be a superstar with designer labels arriving to your house by courier every day!!

 

List: Accessorising Your Fashion with a Life Issue

By far the most important thing to remember about fashion blogging is that it’s not about the clothes.

It’s about you.

A good fashion blog photograph will combine clever styling, locations and photographers. A great fashion blog photograph combines clever styling, accessories, locations and photographers with a mind-blowing personal story. Just find your angle and match it to your outfit.

Superblogger Chapter 6: How To Dress to Impress (The Haters)

If you don’t have an actual broken window, don’t worry! You can always edit it in later.

  • Sad about crime in your neighbourhood? Team a Breton stripe with a white jean and stare pensively out through a broken window
  • Celebrating a new job? A picture of you smiling in extreme tailoring will look dynamite next to that soup kitchen or food bank you WON’T be visiting
  • Just announced your engagement, but not into all that traditional Bridezilla frou-frou? Think Orange Is the New Black meets Say Yes To The Dress, and just wait for those endorsements to roll in
  • In despair over some social justice issue? This calls for a killer jumpsuit with this season’s hottest protest sign!
  • Despondent over the fact that fast fashion exploits slave labour in poor countries? No worries! Just return all your internet purchases after you’ve photographed them for your Insta!

 

And that’s all for now, guys!! I hope you have fun ordering and returning all your designer faves!!

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  22 comments for “Superblogger Chapter 6: How To Dress to Impress (The Haters)

  1. February 24, 2019 at 10:35 am

    Loving your hashtags here!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 24, 2019 at 11:35 am

      Thank you for noticing, Cathy. Part of the reason Superblogger is so successful is down to the painstaking imaginising and construction of ground-breaking hashtags, as we all know.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. February 24, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    You are an inspiration! I am now wondering what sort of shoes will go with my tinnitus? I feel a whole new blog brewing! And imagine what fun I can have with headphones!
    #whattowearwithtinnitus

    Sx

    Liked by 2 people

    • February 24, 2019 at 1:05 pm

      This is TOTES what Superblogger is aiming for, Scarlet – well done! Soon every person in the world with tinnitus will be stalking you on Instagram to find out what to accessorise with their incessant internal audio. You’re brilliant, but can I also say – #SoBrave

      Liked by 3 people

  3. February 24, 2019 at 12:50 pm

    I used to wear those Nepalese PJs for daywear until they shrunk after a few breakfasts of croissant and tiramisu. Now I lounge around the conservatory surrounded by rare terrestrial coral while attired in the most exclusive hand-woven, hand-dyed, hand-spun silk kaftans which, you’ll be relieved to learn, are so loose and billowy they never shrink. #size12isthenewsize0

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 24, 2019 at 1:07 pm

      OMG Luanna, you are literally #InspoInaKaftan. I am BEYOND impressed. Accessorising with rare terrestrial coral is a genius move. I do hope you’re selling your kaftans at a decent markup too. Love your work. #BuyCheapSellDesigner

      Like

  4. February 24, 2019 at 3:10 pm

    What inspiring advice. “Orange, the new black.” I’m getting right on that. 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 24, 2019 at 4:04 pm

      As is only right and proper, Diana. I only hope that you haven’t been stuck in any other kind of colour-is-the-new-black timewarp until now. That would not be good, at all.

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 24, 2019 at 4:22 pm

        Never! Though when I was in highschool with the rest of the rabble, I only wore gray. It was my “ghost” period.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. February 24, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    Could you please address the ideal number of shots to have in each post? The fashion posts I see tend to have 30 shots of the exact same pose of the exact same outfit. No detail shots, no changing of so much as a scarf arrangement. I am sure you could enlighten me as to the real reason behind this stultifyingly boring practice.

    Liked by 2 people

    • February 24, 2019 at 6:53 pm

      Other than the fact that the star of the show is in each picture? I mean, surely you realise that it’s not about the clothes, it’s about the blogger. Like, have you ever considered modelling any of your quilts?

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 25, 2019 at 12:13 am

        Hmm, I’m not sure the world is ready for that, although such a post would probably go viral in a “you have to see this for yourself to grasp the horror” kind of way. But I can see that up until now I have been very predictable in my location shots — propping the quilts up on old trucks, farm equipment, the occasional goat, etc. I will have to up my game and seek out those broken windows and rubbish tips you mentioned! They may be “old hat” in the world of fashion, but I don’t think they’ve been done in Quilt World yet.

        Liked by 1 person

        • February 25, 2019 at 5:31 pm

          I think you’re really on to something there. Can’t wait to see what Twitter makes of it – should I schedule the backlash first or last? Your choice 😆

          Liked by 2 people

          • February 25, 2019 at 5:58 pm

            Well, I am a terrible procrastinator, so I guess you should hold off on scheduling any backlash. Just in case another quilter beats me to this daring new trend.
            Can’t wait to get more new ideas from Superblogger Chapter 7!

            Liked by 1 person

  6. February 24, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    I bought some designer underpants (To wear inside.) and having used them in a photo shoot, the shop refused to take them back. #doyounotknowwhoiam

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 24, 2019 at 9:57 pm

      OMG Conor, that is like, totes EPIC unfair. You should tell them what you really think of them on Twitter. I swear it works every time. #PowerToThePowerful

      Might I suggest photographing them on the outside of your clothes next time, though? Not only is it waaaaaaaay cooler, but you can prove to the shop then that it’s a hygienic return?

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 24, 2019 at 11:05 pm

        I don’t do cool. Though, I could keep them in the fridge, along with my striped ties. Now, that is cool.

        Liked by 1 person

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