1. When I Swore I Would Never Again Ask You To Vote For Me, I Lied
Like any good politician, I believe that the best promises are the ones we make when we are fairly certain we should not be making them.
Last year I promised (silently – I wasn’t silly enough to say it out loud) that I would never again ask people to vote for me in any blogging awards thing, especially those which only really exist to make money and get free advertising for the organisers or sponsors of said event. Then I got nominated for this one. The Annual Blogger’s Bash is run by a genuine group of bloggers and it’s the most non-commercial, connection-driven, feel-good social event for bloggers that I know of. I really like what they’re doing and I’m up for Funniest Blogger in the awards they run as part of the annual bash, so I’d love for you to give me a vote, here, before voting closes on Friday 2nd June.
Complaints can be given to my spin doctor, who is currently on an extended spa break in Siberia.
2. There Is A Dublin Writers’ Conference, And I Am Speaking At It
The Dublin Writers’ Conference has been running for a few years now, and takes place this year from Friday June 23rd to Sunday June 25th 2017, with speakers and attendees from all over the world.
The conference focuses on writing, publishing and marketing skills for both traditionally and self-published authors. On Saturday June 24th, the organisers have taken the enormous risk of letting me loose on the general public. I will be sharing a panel with some very illustrious speakers, and so will do my best to talk at least some sense regarding surveys and data I have collected on book sales, what people are looking for from self-published books, and of course, what people are not looking for. Details and tickets are available here.
3. I Have Posted Another Writing.ie Column, Called “Literary Fiction: No, I Don’t Know What It Is, Either”
Here’s the link to that article, here. It’s about how literary fiction is the best definition to not define anything since “Gillette: The Best A Man Can Get”. This technically means a triple helping from me this week. I don’t know if I’m teasing or torturing you, I really don’t.
4. I Still Don’t Understand Why Everyone Isn’t Listening To Me And It’s Very Frustrating
Some months ago, I posted a blog about how the interpretation of certain Nielsen book sales data was misleading, and the book industry’s equivalent of fake news. Certain book sales data were interpreted to show that printed books were once again outselling e-books, illustrating that the curse of e-books and Amazon was over; and this reading of the data was publicised until the cows came home, and for quite a long time after the cows had gone to the loo for the last time and settled down with some nice cud and a bedtime story.
The problem is that the data was incomplete. It omitted a significant quantum of book sales from digital publishers and quite a few others and the conclusions, although desperately desirable by many people working in publishing and the print media, are misleading. I went into some detail in my original piece about why I thought the data was skewed in the first place, and I won’t repeat myself here, but it’s all about how just a few blockbuster titles and short-lived fads can cause spikes and troughs which make the data very volatile. This volatility means that taking past behaviour as a proxy for future trends is impossible, and it’s misleading to claim otherwise.
Since I put out that piece, I think there have been about 4 more articles saying the same thing in the Guardian alone, not to mention a completely awful one in the Irish Times, which used quotes from lovely authors and industry heads I really like in order to back up statements I don’t believe they would necessarily have agreed with.
But maybe it’s just as well. I suppose if anyone was actually listening to me, I would be terrified of posting anything for fear of starting Online World War 4,309, so perhaps we should all be grateful.
5. Every Web List Should Have At Least Five Points. Fact.
I was tempted to post a video here of me singing “Stormy Weather”, but you don’t want me to do that, so maybe just really vote for me in the Blogger’s Bash instead.
You’re welcome.
Right, well, I’ve voted for you, though you need to know that I have the most serious reservations about any poll that says, “The criteria is”. You are mixing with semi-literates and that can only end in sadness.
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Oh dear. Perhaps it was just a test, John? And you passed!! Congratulations!!! Um….
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Voted, and no, I don’t know what literary fiction is either, and what’s more…I don’t care!
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Thanks, Stevie. And you know, I don’t really care either… as long as I can get an article out of it 😜
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“I was tempted to post a video here of me singing “Stormy Weather”, but you don’t want me to do that,”
Wanna bet?
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I would, but I’m afraid I never gamble. It was the ruination of my 3rd cousin, twice removed.
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voted! good luck.
Liz
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Thanks Liz!
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Thanks for mentioning the Bash, Tara and good luck with the vote. Yes, sometimes Bloggers make grammar and spelling mistakes, terrible isn’t it? Having said thay, will you be popping along to pick up your award? Or must I wait till the Dublin Writers event and join the queue to shake your hand and ask you to sign your autograph on the back of my teeshirt?
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Hi Ali… I wish I could go to London – how mad would it be if I met you there first rather than on home turf?! – but I’m caught at a longstanding engagement here on the Friday night which makes it just too tight. I really wanted to meet everyone – & clap on the back of the people who actually get the awards!
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Ok… Dublin Writers it is then… I’ll bring your award with me! Lol. Seriously, if you do win it would you like me to accept it on your behalf?
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Oh gosh. I really do doubt that’ll arise, but yes please, Ali – you would do me proud!
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Haha! Email me your speech then. 🤣
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Be careful what you wish for…. 😘
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I voted for you. Good luck!
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Thanks Elizabeth!
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Good luck in Dublin Tara.
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Thanks Stuart. I’ll need it. So will the conference organisers, with me involved.
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My fingers had almost clicked the mouse to take me to the Bash so I could vote for you, then I read that last line. I’ll refrain from voting until you show us that video. Stormy Weather, here she comes!
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What??? Noooooooooo! That’ll teach me to idly threaten the Greeks…
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Yep. Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes, as the common folk say.
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Er, yes, (she says without google translate to hand)
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I just translated that. Masterful stuff, Mr Rossis. Wooden horse on the way.
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Wooden horse, huh? You do know what happened last time someone opened one of those…
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Course I do! A pile of sweets fell out, didn’t they?
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Well, a giant pinata is what the Trojans thought, anyway, so close enough 😀
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I voted for you the day the survey came out, Tara. Checked that one off early. I’d love to come to Dublin to hear your witty and insightful panel discussion but alas, not going to make the 7,532 km trip this year. I would, just for you, but something else came up. 😀 Have fun.
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I forgive you, Diana. After all, I haven’t popped over to you for a cuppa yet either . Thanks for voting!
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I’d have been more likely to cast a vote had you posted the video, although I did it anyway. Good luck!
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Aha! My reverse reverse psychology worked! Thanks Sarah 😂
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Congratulations on your nomination and good luck at the conference! I am not stuck pondering the deeper meaning of the Gillette slogan now though. Is it truly the best a man can get? And if so, how sad that must be for those guys who have chosen to embrace their natural look and go full caveman.
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I suppose the can still shave other places, Allie. Between their eyebrows, for instance. Or their knuckles. But such philosophy as Gillette’s is not for mere mortals to ponder, methinks.
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Ah, Tara! Since you ask so nicely… 😉
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Did I?? Must get that seen to.
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Voted for YOU. Thanks for the giggles, and the wisdom. I hope you win.
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Thank you Gay! If I were to win, that would be some giggle all right 😉
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Voted for you for you are v.funny. Would have loved to have gone to that event day too but will be on my holliers in sunny Spain. Best of luck!
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Thanks Scarlett! You lucky thing. Have a great time in Spain.
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Nooooo! I missed the voting window!
Now I wish I lived in Dublin so I could come hear you speak. Sounds like it’ll be a fascinating talk! Best of luck Tara!
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Thank you! I’ll just be glad if the talk in Dublin doesn’t involve me falling over, swearing, or laughing in all the wrong places!!
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Put in my vote for you. Good luck on a win and have fun with the panel. Living near Diana, it’s a bit far to go in person, but will be rooting for you anyway.
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Thank you Sheron – you’re very kind. And as we all know by now, I don’t deserve it 😉
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