Ever since superheroes became part of our staple diet of entertainment in the last century, superpowers haven’t changed all that much. But we need new superpowers today for the Internet generation. So for writers and bloggers, what would they be?
I toyed with the idea of bringing you an inspirational, motivational, muppetational post which might fuel you all to sally forth into the world with good cheer. Then I came to my senses, and realised – you don’t want that. Writers want cynicism, bitterness, and hopelessness. Thank Blog you’re here – because I have just the thing for you.
Following unprecedented success in the world of beauty blogging, I have decided to venture forth into the Spangley Sparkleworld of Lifestyle Blogging, beginning with amazing home decorating tips which are more truthful than an ingestible lie detector; more insightful than a stoned Jedi master, and only slightly less patronising than a kale-munching 26-year-old in a tech start-up.
I’ve lost count of the number of times literally nobody has said to me, “what’s it like to be a really successful blogger?” The internet is alive with talk of how to make serious money from blogging, so it’s time to throw my hat into the Ring of Mind-Boggling Success and go where the money is. It’s on your face, by the way. Or at least it will be, by the time I’ve finished with it.
I read an article about niche comedy, and had a thought. We all know that me thinking thoughts can never come to any good, so you may as well read this post to confirm your (entirely justified) prejudices. For one thing, validation makes you feel good. For another, I make an amazing analogy about car windows you won’t want to miss. Honest.