You’re on every book cover. You’re the same woman, with different hair. But I cannot relate to you, and neither can anyone else. You are annoying me. A lot. And so I write this open letter to you, 20-year-old faceless girl who does not represent either me or the characters who speak beneath your covers.
It’s time you stopped blaming that book you wrote or recommended for the fact I didn’t like it. It’s time you started blaming me instead. With a little help from quantum physics, I explain why loving any book is a miracle, why my bad mood became your problem, and why writing a book is like putting an unseen cat in a poisonous box.
It’s the time of the year where we look back on my predictions for 2016, which I cunningly disguised back in January as a futuristic review of what had already happened. So how right or wrong was I? What implications does this have for the global power framework? Will I be a benevolent dictator? And do you have any jellybeans?
Literary Fiction heroes inhabit a world of such beauty and introspection, that to know them would be to feel a deeper connection to the universe. Right?
Perhaps this idea warrants a little further exploration. Might living with one of the protagonists of your favourite literary fiction novels inspire you to a better understanding of humanity? Or might it inspire you to want to kick their arse?
3 Writers enter Mr McGuffin’s Plot Device and Writer Unblocking Emporium in dire need of help. Will Mr McGuffin be able to save the tragic lovers of the romance novelist? What’s in the bloodstained suitcase? Just what is going on with the world’s most mysterious dog? And how long can one pun be stretched out over an entire blog post? Click the bait to find out.
The notion of artists working for free is a frequent hot topic online. Is writing or performing for free in order to get so called ‘exposure’ the great modern swizz which is destroying the potential of a generation? Perhaps that question has already been answered, because a lot of high-quality free internet content is disappearing. And it’s making me think.
You love the cops in crime novels. So careworn, and yet mysterious. They have money, and yet never spend it on themselves. Granted, being married to one is just asking for trouble. But you could just share a house with one, right? That would be exciting, and spice up your humdrum existence no end!
Let’s take a look, and see if you might want to think this through a little more…