It’s been a tough week to be a woman in Ireland. Too many things filled up my brain to write satire, so I’m just going to tell you what I would have written about, had I not ended up with a brain that feels like one of those mops which NEVER wrings out, no matter what the infomercial told you.
This week, I set out to enquire what drives people to write really nasty reviews. Not only did I find the answer, but I also found out that I was the culprit (and so are you). In an attempt to soften this shocking revelation I have turned this life lesson into unmissable advice for authors and internet users. Just call me Dr. Spin-ling.
Following unprecedented success in the world of beauty blogging, I have decided to venture forth into the Spangley Sparkleworld of Lifestyle Blogging, beginning with amazing home decorating tips which are more truthful than an ingestible lie detector; more insightful than a stoned Jedi master, and only slightly less patronising than a kale-munching 26-year-old in a tech start-up.
I’ve lost count of the number of times literally nobody has said to me, “what’s it like to be a really successful blogger?” The internet is alive with talk of how to make serious money from blogging, so it’s time to throw my hat into the Ring of Mind-Boggling Success and go where the money is. It’s on your face, by the way. Or at least it will be, by the time I’ve finished with it.
I read an article about niche comedy, and had a thought. We all know that me thinking thoughts can never come to any good, so you may as well read this post to confirm your (entirely justified) prejudices. For one thing, validation makes you feel good. For another, I make an amazing analogy about car windows you won’t want to miss. Honest.