Well hello, my beauteous fans of beauty!!
I get papped and photographed all the time, but you should see me behind closed doors when the camera isn’t on! I literally spend most of my life in my favourite sweats with my hair sticking up in all directions.
It’s important to remember that we’re all the same when the spotlights aren’t on us. I might have way more spotlights on me than a lot of people, but even I still have a bad day very occasionally.
People see me as this superglamorous creature who goes around looking perfect all the time. I get told all the time that I’m naturally pretty, that I must never feel ugly, even on an off day. When I hear some of my fans tell me they feel so ugly that they never ever feel pretty, not even for like half a day, it literally #BreaksMyHeart.
But while I have no problem admitting that I may be Superblogger, I’m not superhuman! I think the reason my beauty channel is so popular, with 17 million hits in my first year, is because I let people see that side of me – the side that covers up the fact that I’m just like everyone else, with really skilfully applied makeup from the best brands.
People also say money can’t buy you happiness, but it can literally buy you stuff that makes you feel better for a while, which is also super important. Nothing cheers me up better than looking great, like I’m really confident and ready to take on the world.
So whether I’ve been getting nasty comments from the online haters, failed a test, or lost an endorsement deal to a new rival even though I knew they probably wouldn’t last two months past becoming my new BFF, I just whip out the make-up palette, and put on my armour.
For me, there is no more effective weapon than a classic smoky eye. But then, you should learn to nail your signature look: this will be your USP (Unique Superblogging Pathway). Once you become known for your signature look, you just sit back, and count the hits.
1. The Classic Smokey Eye In Just 4 Easy Steps
You’ll literally find a million tutorials online showing you how to do a smoky eye, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my blogging journey, it’s that one more will never go to waste. This look is so popular that you could even have your own signature smoky eye. Mine is a back-to-basics, more traditional take, done in charcoal grey, silver, black, blue, purple, green, and of course, brown.
My inspiration for this look was Kristen Stewart – before she cheated on Rob (because afterwards you’ve got to admit she just looked evil, right?)
When you’re going for the classic smoky eye, always remember to work with the colour of your eyes, not against it. I always follow the 3 Golden Rules Of Dramatic Eyes:
- Never use shades which go in and out of fashion too quickly.
- Green can be worn by anyone, unless your actual eyes are green.
- People with green eyes (like me, and most of my YA book heroes!) are lucky, because we can wear any colour.
For a full list of products to achieve this look, please check the dedicated Smoky Eye page on my blog. For further application tips, you can check out tutorial numbers 1, 15, 43, 212, 501, 911 and 1,583 on my YouTube channel, or just follow this super-easy step-by-step visual guide!
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4

Layer just a little more of the same darker colour… et voilà! The classic smokey eye in just 4 easy steps!
And that’s all there is to it. This is also my go-to look for premières, book or product launches, nightclub appearances, awards ceremonies, and other celebrations of my success. And if you don’t have many opportunities to go to these sort of events, remember – nobody EVER got arrested for looking fabulous when going shopping.
2. My Signature Look
Everyone should have their own signature look. Mine is the No Make-up Make-up Look. As this has been the most watched tutorial of my dedicated beauty channel since forever, and the look I’m most famous for and get the most comments (and compliments) on every single day, I’m super happy to share my fresh-faced secrets with you!
Note: It can be a bit tough starting off, if you feel you don’t have all the products which are literally essential to look like you’re not wearing any make-up. I started when I was just 12 years old with a garden rake, coal (Dad misheard me), and some silver eyeshadow, left over from the decade when my Mum used to smile.
But I think you’ll find the following look easy to achieve with the most basic essentials which are sure to be in everyone’s make-up bag.
The No Make-up Make-up Look: Or How To Get That Literally Fresh-Faced Glow
To nail this look, you only need the following basic essentials:
- Bamboo Face Cloth
- Cream Cleanser (1st Cleanse)
- Foaming Face Wash (2nd Cleanse)
- Anti-Acne Lotion
- Glycolic Skin Toner
- Anti-Ageing Serum
- Colour-Correcting Serum
- Daily Moisturiser
- SPF
- Skin Primer
- Paddle-Shaped Foundation Brush
- Flat Powder Brush
- Concealer
- Liquid Foundation
- Angled Sculpting Brush
- Contour Brush
- Square Highlighter Brush
- Natural Highlighter Shade (For Contouring: Brow Bones, Cheekbones, Nose Bridge & Cupid’s Bow)
- Natural Lowlighter Powder (For Cheek Hollows and Jawline)
- Full Fan Brush
- Invisible Foundation Setting Powder
- Short-Handled Bronzer Brush
- Natural Glow Bronzer
- Buffer Brush
- Daily Eye Cream
- Eye Make-Up Primer
- Eye Shader Brush
- Tapered Blending/Smudging Brush
- Eyeshadow # 1: Base (Natural Colour)
- Eyeshadow # 2: Enhancer (Slightly Darker Natural Colour)
- Eyeshadow # 3: Smoke/Defining Shade (More Slightly Darker Natural Colour)
- Eyeshadow # 4: Pop Shade (Upper Lid Centre)
- Precision Eye Pencil Brush
- Eyeliner # 1 – Natural Shade (Inner Corners)
- Eyeliner # 2 – Medium Natural Shade (Upper Lash Line)
- Eyeliner # 3 – Slightly Darker Natural Shade (Waterline / Outer Corners)
- Natural Effect Mascara
- Angled Brow Brush
- Precision Brow Liner
- Brow Shading Powder
- Brow Setting Gel
- Sculpting Lip Brush
- Natural Lip Liner
- Natural Lipstick
- A SMILE
Et voilà again! You’re perfect. Ready to fresh-face the world with that natural glow. It’s as easy as 1-2-45!
You can go to my YouTube channel for further step-by-step instructions, where I have 2 million hits on my fresh-faced make-up tutorial videos alone (every week).
I think you’ll agree that this simple make-up routine is a must-have for everybody before you go to school, college, or that movie date you don’t want to look too try-hard for.
For the products I’m loving right now – please refer to my blog for the brands I’m endorsing this week which will really make your face look truly, naturally beautiful!
Tatiana Maslany of Orphan Black must have learned it from you. So many great versions. Her eyes are brown, not green, so that limits her options.
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Well, Alicia, we all know how much I hate having to divulge how many celebrities love me. I’m not averse to other people doing the divulging, though, so you know, thanks.
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Don’t worry. I hate divulging how many celebrities love me, too. Our little secrets. BIG secrets, but we won’t tell. It would be tacky to be name-droppers. Always so gauche, you know.
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Totes, Alicia.
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You are seriously twisted, sister. You’ve inspired me. I shall follow up with a “How to look like you’re wearing pantyhose when you’re not” post.
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Ooh Melodie that sounds like an insta-viral hit!!! Don’t forget the section on gussets. Far too few gussets on social media if you ask me.
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I got very depressed reading this post… I’m an artist, and I realised I have a lot less brushes and colors than you
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OMG thank you!! If even one person gets jealously depressed reading my posts it means I’m totally there. On the other hand, Sad Face. Next time I unbox some brushes I’ll totally send you the ones I have several duplicates of ok?
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See? This is why you are so successful, your unrelenting generosity! The world is grateful you are alive!
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Thank you for knowing that. It means so much to me, Widdershins, literally.
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Dear Superblogger, what about us, #PracticallyAllMen? How do we become our authentic best selves? I faithfully followed your tutorial, but when I tried to dazzle the world with my classic smokey eye, I earned a new nickname at the construction site where I work – “Panda”. As if the previous one, “oi there hairy ass” wasn’t bad enough 😦 I offered to follow me mates on social media, to which they answered “you can tag along after work and buy us beers”, clearly misunderstanding the words “follow” and “social”.
Could I suggest a practical tutorial explaining how to authentically expand the organic range of our masculinity? I briefly followed a channel called HardToughMachoMen, but I found out that it answered very different questions from the ones I have.
I am using a “pseudonym” because my mom, who I live with, snoops all over the place. Yours, Hank
I DON’T “SNOOP”, YOUNG MAN, I AM TAKING CARE OF YOUR WELLBEING! SIGNED, BRENDA, HANK’S MOM.
PS. HIS NAME IS JULIAN.
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Wow, so much to unpack, there, BjørnHankJulian. All I can say is, nothing says MAN like a protein shake and Hammer pants, with a side of Emotional Intelligence Yoga. Do let us know how you get on?
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I do a perfect smoky eye. I lash on me make up, go out on the tear, get rat arsed,come home, go to bed with make up on, wake up next morning… done ! 😃
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Owow! That is totally authentic. Just Instagram the whole thing, add mantras, and you’ll be the full package, Bernie Rose.
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Is there an Instagram friendly hairband that you can recommend so that my fringe stays out of my eyes whilst I slap this lot on?
Sx
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OMG I am sooo glad you asked. There literally is one? It’s called the Influencer (TM) band and you can buy it now from my Etsy store. Everything you say while wearing it is 76% more authentic! Try it now!
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