Well, folks. I’ve been quiet for such a long time, but now lookit, everything has changed, again.
Even the good governments are saying it’s time for most people to start poking our scared little heads out of our hidey-holes, and say a bleary hello to the world outside.
But there’s a problem, ladies and gentlemen. After months of getting used to not being allowed to do anything because of COVID-19… now we’re frightened of being allowed to do stuff.
Going outside is scary. Travelling around or to a built-up area is scarier. Interacting with people we don’t know well, or at all, is TERRIFYING.
We’ve forgotten how to be. What do we say? What do we NOT say? How do people behave when they’re not on a video call??
Plus, personal responsibility is a dangerous thing to be depending on. We don’t know who to trust, and suspect we should be trusting nobody at all. How can we relate to this cowardly new world where fear reigns, and yet we’re expected to once again interact with people we’re neither living with, nor related to?
Why, with cynicism and humour, of course.
And as always, I’m here to help you with the Post-Lockdown Chat Bingo card.
This exclusive, free-to-all Bingo Card gives you two choices, ladies and gentlesirs.
The most terrified of us can use it as a conversation cheat sheet. The Bingo card contains no (okay, very little) rhetoric which is liable to detonate any of today’s various conversational or societal bombs*, so is safe to use for the most squeamish of political ostriches.
However, I would suggest that you go for Option no. 2, and instead, play it like a proper Bingo card, and use it as a humorous reminder of the most inane side of human interaction which we all just had a lovely break from (except for those who lived the last 2 months entirely on social media).
It’s also a handy training tool to remind us that we will no longer be solely interacting with people in the virtual sense. A good test of your fitness to re-enter society will be if you’re capable of hearing an entire Bingo line of inanity without rolling your eyes ONCE.
Horizontal, vertical, diagonal, the possibilities are endless! [I know, I know… shut up, mathematicians]
And so, without further ado, it’s time to play……………….
*See how I’m commenting without commenting? See? You’ve enough signs/articles/news showing you that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, you don’t need me to tell you. I know you’re only here for the LOLZ, and to be honest, I don’t blame you one bit.