It is a little-known fact that the old trope of a piano falling on someone’s head was inspired by every Irish person ever who felt proud of themselves for even five minutes. In this post I deal with misplaced pride, indie publishing scams, bogus bestsellers, my difficult childhood, and why if you want to be original, you should never read anything written by anyone else. Ever.
It’s time you stopped blaming that book you wrote or recommended for the fact I didn’t like it. It’s time you started blaming me instead. With a little help from quantum physics, I explain why loving any book is a miracle, why my bad mood became your problem, and why writing a book is like putting an unseen cat in a poisonous box.
Amazon’s algorithms don’t like the concept of General Fiction. If books are being sold more on the basis of genre than content, is content changing to suit genre fads? I think so. And if you’ve ever read a book which promised something it didn’t deliver, or seemed like two different plots or styles clumsily slapped together, you might think so, too.
When it comes to selling your book, what’s the difference between marketing and shouting? Is it possible to promote through social media without your friends and family feeling like they’ve come under attack? I asked social media guru and non-fiction author Lorna Sixsmith – is it possible to market a book without annoying people?
When customers want things, they want things now. They don’t want to wait for things to be manufactured or delivered or tested or marketed. If the fashion industry is now managing to get from catwalk to customer in six weeks, why does it take a year for a book which has already been written to get on the market? Also, naked men. Honest.
On what online piracy really means for authors and musicians; and why it’s all really the fault of Big Tobacco.
In the second part of ‘what the hell is a book blurb and how am I supposed to write one’, we explore the genres of Crime, Historical Fiction, and Science Fiction/Fantasy. Sort of.
It’s the time of year when all those involved in sales choose to ignore lovely loyal customers in favour of their shiny new ones. It’s a terrible state of affairs, which is why, in this blogging review of 2015, I have included several scandalous and downright disgusting lies, which only beloved old blog readers will be able to identify. These shocking, vile and unbelievable lies are only a clickbait, sorry, a click away!