4 Easy Ways To Write A Smash Bestseller!

The Path To Blockbusting Bestsellers Graph

Well. 2 of them are easy, from the outside looking in…

Method 1:   Accidentally encapsulate the cultural zeitgeist which began defining a generation yesterday at 2.43pm

Who knew that young adults, for instance, wanted a world of complete fantasy where your undead boyfriend is constantly resisting the urge to kill you, before Twilight came along?

Method 2:   Be controversial

This is easy. The biggest bestseller right now in Spain  is a book which tells women to get married and be submissive to their husbands. And who wins? Well. The more people disagree with it… the more $$$$$$. Ta!

Method 3:   Work really, really hard for a number of years, growing your sales painfully slowly, until you reach the tipping point where sales beget greater sales, thereby achieving the success people assume happened overnight

Oh.   Okay.   Not so easy, then.

This is about the story of the bestseller. Not the stories within, but the stories of how novels got to be bestsellers in the first place. We’re very familiar with some of them – John Grisham selling his independently-published The Client from his car; J.K. Rowling writing in greasy spoons with a crying baby, getting rejected by at least 12 different publishers, and then having a first print run of only 500;  E.L. James’ fan-fiction going viral online. But what of the less sensational stories? What about the slow burners?

The story of success has become as fictional as the books themselves. The first 2 ways of writing a bestseller are already newsworthy, and easy to sell. However, there is no story in telling the media that you are method number 3; that you plodded along for aeons, before  someone somewhere heard of you, and your sales ticked up slowly, and more slowly still, until you finally hit the bestseller list. (Unless your house was about to be repossessed when you hit the bestseller list, in which case, there’s your angle! Aren’t you lucky!)

It is far more interesting to make something up

Like how your book got published, that traumatic/poverty-stricken period which prompted you to write it, how long it took to write, or how long you’ve been writing in the first place.

I always think of Edna O’Brien’s The Country Girls when I’m writing, because her first book was written in just THREE WEEKS.  3 weeks?? Seriously? Who writes an entire novel in 3 weeks? Meaning if I started now, I’d have my opus maximus by the early hours of 2014?!

But just what had she written in that time? The first draft, perhaps? And how long did it take to be edited? Rewritten? And edited again?

Ms O’Brien will pardon me if I’m talking through my arse in the event that she did, indeed, churn out a fully-fledged modern classic in less than a month. But the vast majority don’t do that.

The vast majority of authors re-draft their novels between 3 and 10 times before they get a traditional publishing deal, if they’re lucky. Then, they will be made to do even more re-writes, and publicise both themselves and their novels, before the book comes out, oh, say, 12-18 months after they sign their contract.

If they stay lucky, their publishers will then promote their books. Otherwise, and is often the case, they will organise their own book signings, do their own pleading with shops and distributors to stock their books, and spend more time than is healthy on social media doing dubious promotional activity which may or may not turn readers away from them forever.

Harvesting DoshIn the event that they then become successful, they will duly give interviews with newspapers and radio presenters, talking about their overnight success, and how it’s changed their lives. (First royalty cheques for €127.40 will do that.)

So, Could I Get To The Point, Please?

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with embellishing your journey, or inflating your success story. Because there isn’t. When you’re starting out, both traditional and self-publishing is largely about how you sell yourself, not your novel.

You can get mass media coverage if you or your book has a story about how you got there. And there has to be an angle in how you sell yourself, for people in method 3.  If the truth isn’t interesting, you have to be smart about what you say. Who cares, as long as you’re getting talked about? And perhaps you’ll end up with Method 4: Clever and effective self-marketing.

News angles are not just for Christmas, they are also for journalists, hungry for stories – so go forth and give generously.

So – authors – do you have a story about your story? Or have you heard of any bestselling books becoming successful in other ways? Please share!

  9 comments for “4 Easy Ways To Write A Smash Bestseller!

  1. December 12, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    My book came to me on the gossamer wings of a troupe of flying pixies who came from the hidden mountains of Veldersmolders… can’t see it on your pie chart tho… 😀


    • December 12, 2013 at 2:20 pm

      Can’t you? My apologies! It’s just that it’s quite a small segment, although I’m delighted you’re one of the few within it… You have to look reeeeeally closely, for a good few hours, & eventually – through a haze of weakness-induced stars – you can see it quite clearly 😉


  2. TRShakespeare
    December 12, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    I can’t say that I’m a published author yet, although i want to be one day and to be honest I kind of want to be one of those authors that are in Method 3, because it seems like more of a journey for the love of your book and writing. I think that is what makes a writer really successful, they are pushed by their own passion and become successful because they put their life into it.

    That’s just my theory anyway.


    • December 13, 2013 at 7:13 am

      That’s a lovely approach. A more realistic definition of success might make the writer happier, all told. It might also be the case that slow and hard-fought success leads to longevity in the top 100 too, a more sustainable writing life…


      • TRShakespeare
        December 13, 2013 at 5:47 pm

        I agree with you. And that is what all writer’s want is it not?


  3. December 13, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Hopefully this campaign I just started will be my “Breakout” success story.

    Hi folks. January 1st will be the five year mark on my publishing adventure/ career and come the New Year a new plan will have to be made. As part of preparing for my new plan, I have had to do some major evaluating and it has been hard. I have only achieved 2 of the 5 goals that were laid out, and although I have pushed and pushed as hard as possible, the 3rd goal “Build a following” which would lead to the 4th goal “live independently on my writing” have eluded me. Which leads me to a very important cross roads. You see, I write for people. If people aren’t reading what I write, then why am I doing this?

    As a last play in this five year adventure, I am now offering my books on Smashwords at the “You Set The Price” feature. Which means that you can buy/ gift any or all of my books for whatever price you think that they are worth. Including free. All I ask in return is for a review, for you to share, for you to tell a friend. https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HeidiAngell If I can’t even give my books away for free, then I’ll know this is not the path for me. But if you like what you read, let me know. If you think I should continue, tell me why so? Merry Christmas readers and writers everywhere!

    More than likely, it will lead to me getting a “real job” and writing on the side… for some unkown reason, I don’t think I can ever stop writing. But I won’t be shelling out for editors, cover artists, print copies to sit in boxes in my home office, or sacrificing my family to interviews, possible book signing opportunities, or meetings to sell my soul (or the Christmas presents) to some marketer promising that they will make me a star.

    *Feeling Jaded*


    • December 13, 2013 at 11:28 pm

      Best of luck with your new plan, Heidi. Hope you don’t give up. I don’t think having a day job is too bad, myself. Can take the edge off the stress of being an emerging writer!


  4. December 13, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    I’ve self published and was delighted to be interviewed by Ryan Tubridy on 2FM last week. I have to admit I owe social media a lot (in terms of helping me succeed with the crowdfunding and with sales). Great post – lots of good advice in that. Thank you


    • December 13, 2013 at 11:31 pm

      Great coup with Ryan, from what I hear he’s doing great work promoting new Irish writing at the moment. The very best of luck on your self-publishing adventure, I’m sure having a loyal blog following will help you heaps… Don’t forget that’s a lot of work you have under your belt already!


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