Why Facebook Trialling Their New ‘Dislike’ In Ireland Is Downright Hilarious

Why Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright HilariousTired of liking other people’s pain? Sick of ignoring boastful status updates instead of giving them the dressing down you really crave? Worried that a simple ‘Like’ won’t show how much you get your furthest acquaintance’s twisted sense of humour? Well, suffer no more!

Facebook have rolled out some new ‘Reactions’ buttons – animated emojis which can display a wider range of emotions than an EL James heroine – in a limited trial. And they’ve chosen to trial them in Spain and Ireland.

And Ireland.

Excuse me just one moment while I react to that.

Why Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright Hilarious

Sorry. I just need another moment

Why Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright HilariousWhy Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright HilariousWhy Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright Hilarious

Sorry. Just needed to get that out of my system.

If I were Facebook, I would not be trialling anything in Ireland. The social psychology in this country is not conducive to successfully trialling reactions to anything, unless it is some sort of ironic trial targeting circular arguments powerful enough to blow a whole in the space-time continuum.

And here is why.

1. There are no degrees of separation in Ireland

There may be only 6 degrees of separation between most people, but there is only ever 1 degree between anyone in Ireland. We are a very small, nosy country, which makes it impossible to give an honest negative reaction to anything when you know that your mother’s first cousin’s son works with the girl who just gave you rage, humblebragging about her angelic 3-year-old son’s fluency in Mandarin. This means the true implications of people using both the ‘Haha’ button (ironically) and the ‘Angry’ button (venomously) will lurk in the long grass until trialled elsewhere.

Why Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright Hilarious

2. Facebook should know not to ask for Irish reactions to anything

Think about it.

Status Update: OMG my dog just died

Irish Reaction: No way seriously I just had a big feed of frankfurters

*

Status Update: Why oh why is the world such a cold, dark place?

Irish Reaction: You should probably pay your electric bill by direct debit, Bud

*

Status Update: Sooo happy what an amazing night!

Irish Reaction: U OK hun?

3. The Irish approach to social media is too self-deprecating for truth

In Ireland, every toddler (unless born on Dublin’s southside) is taken aside and taught that talking themselves up is an offence punishable by social death and public beatings. Children go through rigorous training programmes in the arts of The Inability To Accept Compliments;  Extolling One’s Faults; and  my personal favourite, Bribing Others To Occasionally Publicise Your Few Talents. This does not suit social media. We are forced to jump through so many hoops to announce good things and avoid bad things that every public pronouncement becomes a mille feuille so layered it may as well be written in hieroglyphics. Not the ideal testing ground.

Why Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright Hilarious

4. The Irish are messers

The last thing you should ever do is let an Irish person know you’re using them as a test subject for anything. Tell an Irish person you’re testing them, and prepare for madness. No self-respecting data lover would ever make this fatal mistake.

5. Ireland is an island

They say no man is an island. Therefore no island can be representative of humanity at large. Unless you are ring-fence testing a new chocolate.

*

And so, may I just say to Spain: we salute you. The future of the Internet, and quite possibly world peace, depends on you. No pressure.

Why Facebook Trialling Their New 'Dislike' In Ireland Is Downright Hilarious

Side Note With A View To Reactive Inclusivity

What do you think of the new Facebook reaction buttons? Like? Dislike? Puzzled as to why there’s no confusion button? Do tell.

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  80 comments for “Why Facebook Trialling Their New ‘Dislike’ In Ireland Is Downright Hilarious

  1. October 10, 2015 at 8:45 am

    I want a WTF button.

    Liked by 6 people

    • October 10, 2015 at 11:53 am

      The world needs a WTF button! Unfortunately, we’re currently stuck with Facebook’s lame and watery ‘Wow’

      Liked by 3 people

  2. October 10, 2015 at 9:21 am

    Pissing meself laughing at no. 2. Spot on the lot of it. Plus there’s our poor self-esteem and the risk of having an angry face repaid with another. We’re either all happy or nobody’s happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. October 10, 2015 at 9:54 am

    There’ll come a point when online communication is carried out entirely by ‘characters’ until we end up with a new alphabet resembling a child’s version of Japanese. I’ve already started, having discovered the wonders – thanks Tara – of the hidden world of ASCII characters.

    █═Ø▀Õ═══█

    The meaning of the above symbol can be yours by sending five pounds (cash) to: Me, PO Box 54, Cayman Islands.

    Liked by 3 people

    • October 10, 2015 at 11:56 am

      It’s in the post, Chris. Unfortunately there was a postal strike last week. Seeing as you trust me implicitly and the cash is totally in the post, you can just e-mail it to me today. You’re welcome.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. October 10, 2015 at 10:02 am

    They couldn’t test the buttons in Germany, because my fellow countrymen- and women ignore all buttons and blog/Facebook entries equally. Try running a German-language blog here on WP and you’ll know what I mean. Nobody ever clicks on the “like” button, let alone comments on anything people write. It’s the same on other, German-run publishing platforms. Heaven forbid that Germans should overcome their born “stur” approach to life and fellow humans (best translated as “uppity”, I guess). If Facebook came up with a “face” that shows a permanent scowl I guess Germany’s Internet users might succumb to temptation, but otherwise…

    Liked by 5 people

    • October 10, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      But there’s over 80 million of you! You obviously don’t have enough blogs. You’ll need a wide flood of them before people start reading them properly. We have the opposite problem in Ireland, we never shut up. I think Germans are big users of Facebook, though, aren’t you? From what I see anyway. The angry button might suffice as the scowl of necessity!

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 10, 2015 at 4:53 pm

        We have plenty of blogs and huge publishing platforms with millions of users, both authors and readers – but Germans tend to consume ferociously all they can read for free, then move on without comment. Admittedly, as far as Internet etiquette is concerned – and usage overall – they are about 25 years behind compared to UK and USA. Far fewer people have laptops or other mobile devices.

        Liked by 2 people

        • October 10, 2015 at 5:45 pm

          I was being a bit cheeky there Maria, I know you have loads of blogs in Germany… Anyway trust me, sometimes less commenting can be a good thing!

          Liked by 1 person

  5. carousel1234
    October 10, 2015 at 10:13 am

    Tarasparlingwrites needs a haha button and a yay! I’m loving the fb buttons. I’m enjoying the exasperated thoughts going through every mind in Ireland as to which one to use. If I press angry what will mammy say?

    Liked by 3 people

    • October 10, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      Tell you what, Carolann. We need an Irish Mammy button to show disapproval when somebody crosses the line or simply needs taking down a peg or five. It could be a wagging finger or a rolling pin.

      Liked by 3 people

      • October 12, 2015 at 1:30 pm

        Hmm… tough one… The rolling pin sounds more like an angry wife to me, though. Can’t we have both?

        Liked by 1 person

        • October 12, 2015 at 2:40 pm

          What, you want an angry wife and an Irish Mammy? Wow, Nicholas. I didn’t know how depraved you were getting.

          Like

  6. October 10, 2015 at 10:21 am

    (I know it’s not April 1st) but you haven’t convinced me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      Would that I were fooling you, Hilary! But you can google it. We’re overflowing with extra buttons here in Ireland at the moment and not enough emotion to use all of them.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. October 10, 2015 at 10:25 am

    So that’s why I…what’s the word? Oh yes—dislike facebook. It’s just my social psychology! Anyway I strongly like this post Tara, my little yellow face has one of those upward curving lines at the bottom.

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 12:04 pm

      Sounds a lot better than my little yellow face, Daniel. Mine has a wonky eye and seems to be shouting something in a dead language.

      Liked by 3 people

      • October 10, 2015 at 2:50 pm

        Might that dead language be – dare I say it? Oh, my. Now it all makes sense.

        Liked by 1 person

        • October 10, 2015 at 5:46 pm

          The one you’re thinking if is far from dead, thankfully, Christine! There are plenty of other ones, though… even metaphorically…

          Like

          • October 10, 2015 at 9:08 pm

            That’s a relief. I wouldn’t want my investment in lesson manuals and recordings to have been in vain. A pox on each of those little yellow faces, for scaring me so.

            Liked by 1 person

  8. October 10, 2015 at 10:34 am

    Oh my word this really is going to be hilarious. what about a button that says “who cares” or “Get a life” hahahahahaha

    Liked by 3 people

    • October 10, 2015 at 12:06 pm

      Exactly, Ruth. No matter what they put up there, it was never going to be what people really wanted. They have one angry face, when three ‘WTF??’, ‘Who Cares’ and ‘Get a Life’ buttons were required. And why we need to distinguish between ‘Love’ ‘Like’ ‘Yay’ and ‘Wow’ is beyond me.

      Liked by 3 people

      • October 10, 2015 at 7:49 pm

        Among my Facebook social circle we would also need a “get offline, you’re too drunk to type” button. And a “this is not even close to true” button that automatically sends the poster a link to a fact-checking site.

        Liked by 2 people

        • October 10, 2015 at 8:06 pm

          Exactly, Bethany. The mind boggles as to what they left in and what they left out!

          Liked by 1 person

  9. October 10, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    I literally laughed loudly when I read this. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. October 10, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    Oh, go on, go on, go on, go on…

    Since I need to be marched onto FB at gunpoint most day, especially my own pages (OK, I’m exaggerating a tad), I’m almost indifferent to more buttons as I’m quite capable of putting my own emojis into my comments/replies anyhoo. I’m quite happy to ignoring stuff, thanks, but If I’m pushed I’ll say that I’d probably use this one – 😛 (ironically) quite a bit 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 5:48 pm

      We need an irony emoticon, and a sarcasm one, and then I’ll be happy. But not before. :&

      Like

  11. October 10, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    Very pertinent observations TS. I do suspect that the complication of the platform will not work in its favour. But, then again, I don’t care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 5:49 pm

      Good work, Conor: you’ve identified yet another button that should be there – the ‘meh’ button.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. October 10, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Love your post Tara. I lived in Ireland for 12 years (Dublin/Balbriggan) so I have a bit of understanding of the Irish (I am only a wee bit of Irish myself). I agree there should be a confusion, and how about a Huh!?! button, or Say What? button 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 7:55 pm

      Delighted you found it, Ann, let alone liked it. The more I think about it, the more I think this a lost opportunity for poor old Facebook. Of all the reactions to express, they chose these?!

      Like

      • October 10, 2015 at 8:00 pm

        I wonder if this may be just the beginning of their testing other emoji’s. I would not be surprised if one of these days they add more…i.e.as therailbaron suggests below, one showing indifference. Sadly indifference has become a big part of our society these days 😦

        Liked by 1 person

  13. October 10, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    This read had me smiling the whole way through. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 7:56 pm

      No, thank you Randi, for forcing me to accept a nice comment. It was difficult, but I can go into my dark corner where nobody can see me and enjoy it now 😜

      Like

  14. October 10, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    No Indifferent button. Very UN-American

    Liked by 2 people

  15. October 10, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    This made me laugh so much! The Irish reaction definitely applies to some of us Irish-Americans. Or at least, my family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 11:26 pm

      Great stuff, Michelle – I’ll notify Facebook immediately of ideal subjects for micro-testing their next rollout. I’m sure your family won’t mind, and it’s for the global good 😀

      Like

  16. October 10, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    They’d be better off with these Tara (if they could be made bigger):
    😱😈👹💀👻🙀😗😡😴💩👽👊👋

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 10, 2015 at 8:27 pm

      Too right, O Simian Sage! Especially – in my case anyway – 4th from the right. Made bigger: lovely. Animated… Bloody superb!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. ayesha4827
    October 11, 2015 at 3:12 am

    facebook needs an ‘I don’t care button’.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. October 11, 2015 at 10:51 am

    I noticed them once, then forgot them. Of all the updates FB needs, they chose this shite! What about showing me the stuff I want to see, like posts from the friends I follow, not just the ones it thinks I want to see. How about letting my author page follow the same rules of visibillity as my personal page, instead of only being seen if I pay them money. Large amounts of money, I might add, for limited strictly controlled results. I’m not a FB fan, I must admit. We can only hope that WP has more sense, and doesnt start introducing these buttons besides its own ‘like’ button!

    Liked by 2 people

    • October 11, 2015 at 3:11 pm

      Amen to all of that, Ali. The worst thing about Facebook is their insistence on making decisions for us. It’s like the whole thing is tailored to those people who have 4,000 friends to look popular rather than managing their own feeds. At least WP interactions are generally less shallow.

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 11, 2015 at 4:44 pm

        Yes that is true. Thanks be to God!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • October 12, 2015 at 1:32 pm

        I’ve been shedding friends on FB, which had me worried. Was it something I said?

        Then I realized FB was automatically removing from my friends those who hadn’t liked/commenting my posts lately.

        Sigh…

        Like

        • October 12, 2015 at 2:43 pm

          Good grief, is that actually happening?! Facebook are removing friends altogether? I’m usually on a mobile device so I never see my friend count. That’s feckin’ crazy! The absolute cretins!

          Unfortunately the only thing which would probably teach FB a lesson would be for people to start leaving it wholesale. There are some indications that FB is losing popularity, but only the loss of a couple of hundred million users will hurt their share price enough for them to actually listen.

          Liked by 1 person

  19. October 11, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    Prefer to use words. Question – Will such reaction buttons further dumb down society’s response to events and happenings that actually matter?

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 11, 2015 at 3:14 pm

      Oh, I doubt it. The sort of people who either react to everything on FB or only react to things on social media will go along the same path regardless!

      Like

  20. October 11, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Tara, I spent a rare enjoyable evening on FB last night discussing how Father Ted has given the gift of an entire range of emojis – a dislike/’down with this sort of thing’ button being an obvious top choice. You’ve hit the nail on the head by saying the Irish are messers. Glad to have found your blog through the Blog Awards Ireland finalists list. Very entertaining! Anne

    Liked by 2 people

    • October 11, 2015 at 6:59 pm

      Thank you Anne! I love your name by the way. Word Herding sounds a lot like this feels some of the time. On reflection I think Facebook wasted a lot of time and energy on these largely superfluous emojis when a simple “I hear you” or “Gotcha” would suffice. But then again I don’t think many people would accuse them of logic recently.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. October 12, 2015 at 9:22 am

    I must admit, my first thought was that the angry button is the equivalent of pressing the mythical red button in the Oval Office. I can imagine letting my finger hover over it, closing my eyes before I press ‘send’, then waiting in trepidation in the bunker under the house for retaliation.

    Liked by 3 people

    • October 12, 2015 at 9:50 am

      Hahaha! I suppose if you have a bunker, Jane, it should be useful.
      I suppose it depends on what the angry button is used for… I could see myself using it in humanitarian contexts e.g. the bombing of the MSF hospital in Kunduz last week made me very angry. I couldn’t see myself using it because somebody had said something I subjectively believed was offensive. But all in all I think Facebook could have avoided this potential minefield by just creating an ‘I hear ya’ button for situations where people want to acknowledge someone’s post but don’t feel it’s appropriate to ‘like’ something tragic or awful.

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 12, 2015 at 10:03 am

        True. If ever I use a ‘like’ to express sympathy I end up apologising abjectly in a comment and explaining that I didn’t really ‘like’ the post…

        Liked by 1 person

        • October 12, 2015 at 10:12 am

          Whereas most people aren’t comfortable with either commenting or liking such posts, and so the author might just feel ignored. Yes, FB definitely needed a solution. Just not this one.

          Liked by 1 person

  22. Alex Hurst
    October 13, 2015 at 7:53 am

    I’m excited about the new emotes for expression, but have a feeling it’s going to impact overall commenting in the long run. Not that Facebook hasn’t been slowly turning into a ghost town anyway, but…. you get the idea. 😛 I have lots of friends like the Irish people you’re talking about… except they’re Canadian!

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 13, 2015 at 6:25 pm

      I dunno, Alex. I think the people who rely on emojis for expression aren’t really commenters in the first place – although it will cut out the “I don’t want to like this because it’s too sad comments but I just wanted to say I hear ya” comments. Glad to know we’re on the same wavelength as our Canadian friends…
      * looks for ‘kindred’ emoji but can’t find one

      Liked by 1 person

  23. October 14, 2015 at 1:48 am

    “The last thing you should ever do is let an Irish person know you’re using them as a test subject for anything. Tell an Irish person you’re testing them, and prepare for madness.”

    I thought you were talking about the American South here. Let them know they are being tested and just expect that the true answers to your questions are the exact opposite of reality.

    Btw, the new Peeple app blows Facebook’s “dislike” out of the water.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2015/09/30/everyone-you-know-will-be-able-to-rate-you-on-the-terrifying-yelp-for-people-whether-you-want-them-to-or-not/

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 14, 2015 at 8:53 am

      You should try asking people who are not only stating the opposite of reality, but trying to mess with your head at the same time! Yes indeed, Peeple made the international headlines. Seems it’s horrifying citizens on a global scale, which is impressive.

      Like

  24. October 14, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    Brilliant post. I want an emoji for “ah, bollix!” “feck!” and “jesus, you’re an awful gobshite.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 14, 2015 at 9:30 pm

      Might be asking a bit much, Niall – just one emoji to cover the entire spectrum of Irish emotion seems like an awfully tall order…

      Liked by 1 person

  25. October 17, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    So sorry I didn’t catch this when it was first posted. Have just spent a long day crunching numbers (would have preferred boiled sweets, but there you go!) and this was just what I needed to clear the gunk from my head. Very funny – as ever.

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 17, 2015 at 10:03 pm

      But… but… Graeme, I LOVE numbers. How could you call them gunk?? They are so delicious and crispy. On the other hand, if your distaste results in any kind of compliment, screw numbers. May they drown in their own gunk. I have no pride.

      Like

  26. October 17, 2015 at 10:48 pm

    The numbers weren’t the gunk, Tara. That was my brain after it had finished doing the number-crunching. It just needed flushing out and refreshing. I’d be lying if I said your post did all of that, but it did do some of the flushing. (Did that come out the way I meant it to?)

    Liked by 1 person

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