I was on holidays last week. You know this, because I put up a horrible gloating post with photographs indicating the niceness of the holiday scenery, and the depths of my nasty character.
While I was away, I abandoned a book I’d been trying to read for about six months. I’m not going to tell you what it was, because this isn’t about author shaming, and that particular author is too successful anyway to care. But for the first time in my life, I abandoned a book more than two thirds the way through.
The notion seemed ridiculous. Surely, having got that far, I could have persevered? Especially when the damned thing had been sitting on my bedside locker for six months, having been started twice, but shortly thereafter also put down twice, in favour of brighter and shinier books which I duly finished in the meantime, thinking “Yerrah, I’ll finish that one on my holidays”.
I was reclining by the water’s edge (I mean right by the water’s edge – or edges, in fact, as I lay bang in between the warmly lapping sea and the cool, refreshing swimming pool. Just sayin’) when I finally asked a friend when she would abandon ship, if a book just wasn’t doing it for her. She asked me what I thought was wrong with what I was reading. I began to say that the story had never gone in the direction I was expecting, and as time went on it went further and further into territory which didn’t entertain either me or my imagination. But before I even finished the sentence, I’d already shut it and dumped it.
So without further ado (or boasting – by the way, it really was a lovely holiday, did I tell you? Just glorious) here is my Ultimate Guide To Not Finishing A Book. Click to embiggen.Note: This aims to aid you in the making of your decision between Chapters 1 and 3, because terrible writing and/or editing should mean it’s already been shut and dumped before the end of the first chapter. You’re welcome.
IN OTHER NEWS, I have made the final of the Blog Awards Ireland 2015, in the Best Art & Culture Blog category! Psyched I am to have made it! Winners will be announced at a bash on October 22nd, for which I made sure to secure my ticket post-haste. And it’s thanks to all you lovely people for voting, which I totally didn’t deserve, seeing as I’ve become insufferable for talking about my holiday, which was very nice indeed. Did I tell you?