Even New Yorkers Know That Money Can’t Buy Everything

On this, the third Monday of the year – so-called ‘Blue Monday’, dreamed up by some marketer somewhere selling something – I’d like to remind everyone out there, who thinks that they would be happy if only they were richer or thinner (or both), that money can’t buy you everything, as evidenced by this shocking photograph I took in a deli in New York.

You’re welcome.

Even New Yorkers Know That Money Can't Buy You Everything


  51 comments for “Even New Yorkers Know That Money Can’t Buy Everything

  1. January 16, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    Blue Monday….pfffft!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. weebluebirdie
    January 16, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    Ah yes, how we languish in our resolve to be Good People.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 16, 2017 at 2:13 pm

      Or laugh at the resolve of others in the event we are the sort of people who never resolve to do any good.

      Liked by 1 person

      • weebluebirdie
        January 16, 2017 at 2:31 pm

        Always better to be the laugher than the laughed at 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  3. January 16, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    Does anyone remember when kale was only for cattle? You knew your family was on the skids if it appeared on your dinner plate… 😛

    Liked by 2 people

    • January 16, 2017 at 2:15 pm

      I remember when it was only for Germans, and only certain regions at that. I almost tripped over a bale of it in the supermarket the other day. Some customer was about to get even more miserable.


  4. January 16, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    Is there nothing sacred left in the world? If we can count on neither money nor thinness to make us happy, what else is there? Surely you jest, my dear, and this awful photo is photoshopped by Hippies such as yourself. I’m sooooo telling a certain power couple on you…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. January 16, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Imagine how many people asked for kale juice before the owner of that shop decided to make a sign!! Kale juice straight up would be pretty nasty anyway – the world will somehow survive without it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 16, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      Hmmmm. Could Gwyneth Paltrow live without it? Doubtful. One thing’s for certain, Diana – whoever asked for 100% kale juice will never be invited to my house. And I don’t want to know what they had for Christmas dinner either.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. January 16, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    Is probably good for you. Make mine a double, with some onion and asparagus thrown in! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 16, 2017 at 5:09 pm

      Isn’t onion and asparagus cheating though? I’ll have to consult the gurus.

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 16, 2017 at 6:40 pm

        Imagine drinking a boxfull of kale, or spinach (well, maybe if you’re Popeye. Or Devon Woodcomb).

        Liked by 1 person

  7. January 16, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    See this is why I’ve almost quit writing to my blog anymore. You pop up a photo about people wanting to drink kale and the internet practically shuts down from the green veggie revulsion (which I totally share, don’t get me wrong).

    I crank out a frickin’ thesis on the deep inner meaning of “Dracula”, or show you close-up shots of hand-painted figurines complete with backstory, and I get two FB shares and a yawning-sloth emoticon.

    Maybe it’s my posts that need to get thinner… THEN I’d be happy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • January 16, 2017 at 7:44 pm

      ‘Twould make you sick, wouldn’t it, Will? It certainly made me sick, which is why I now pander to the whims and vagaries of the internet masses and will no longer post anything that can’t be condensed into either one image or a hashtag of less than 12 characters on Twitter. Honestly. It’s easier that way. My therapy sessions alone have reduced by 50%.

      Liked by 3 people

  8. January 16, 2017 at 8:07 pm


    Liked by 1 person

  9. A.S. Akkalon
    January 16, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    I love the “Sorry for the inconvenience”. We’re very sorry we can’t make much juice out of something that has almost no juice in it. Next time we’ll try to do better.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. January 17, 2017 at 12:01 am

    One Black Dog sends his love on this Blue Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. January 17, 2017 at 11:36 am

    What is a kale exactly? Some sort of desiccated marsupial? Tree hugging locust that recycles its own urine? I hear there are health benefits to a kale so maybe it’s a self exercising, pre dieted ruminant (with its own wellies). I await guidance. PS I tried to milk a spinach last summer but it’s now in local authority care.

    Liked by 2 people

    • January 17, 2017 at 2:50 pm

      “What is a kale exactly? Some sort of desiccated marsupial? Tree hugging locust that recycles its own urine?”

      First cousin of butternut squash. Guardian reader. Subscriber to National Geographic. Votes Greens/Lib Dems and has a beard.

      Tara, thank you for bringing some much-needed perspective into my life.

      Liked by 3 people

    • January 17, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      I couldn’t possibly top the Department’s explanation of kale, Geoff. It’s taken me this long to stop laughing and reply. But I will be referring to milking spinach as my favourite hobby for the foreseeable. I’m forming a club, if you both are interested?

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 17, 2017 at 11:41 pm

        Yes please. I take a reckless pleasure in the degradation of vegetables.. That’s what you meant, right?

        Liked by 1 person

        • January 18, 2017 at 11:06 am

          But it’s artisanal veggie milk. Ethically sourced. On the packet, at least.

          Liked by 1 person

          • January 18, 2017 at 11:18 am

            Yes quite. I had a starter ‘knit your own muesli’ kit for Christmas which recommended I use just that product line.

            Liked by 1 person

            • January 18, 2017 at 11:20 am

              Knit your own muesli. Ingenious. It’s the mass-produced T-shirt of the decade, I’m telling you.

              Liked by 1 person

  12. January 17, 2017 at 2:24 pm

    This really tickled me! I wonder how many times they were asked for this before they reached breaking point

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 17, 2017 at 5:00 pm

      My estimate is 50+ times. Anything less could hardly result in a sign given a population of that size. And yet still so polite…


  13. January 17, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    If I had the money I’d open a hipster cafe and serve stuff with fancy names, knowing all the while the raw ingredients have come out of a bricklayer or scraped off the roof of an old caravan. All I need is a pithy ironic name.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. January 17, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    That’s a relief, now I can go to bed happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 18, 2017 at 11:03 am

      That is literally the first time anyone’s said that to me, Hilary. Thank you 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  15. solsdottir
    January 18, 2017 at 12:53 am

    I remember once trying grass juice (yes, the green stuff in your lawn) at a juice bar in California. There’s not much juice in grass, and it doesn’t taste nice. At all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A.S. Akkalon
      January 18, 2017 at 12:57 am

      Are wheatgrass shots still a thing? They taste disgusting, but you feel kind of virtuous drinking them (though they have no proven benefits).

      Liked by 2 people

      • solsdottir
        January 18, 2017 at 2:50 am

        This was a long time ago, in the 90s. And yes, there is a kind of virtuous glow.

        Liked by 2 people

        • January 18, 2017 at 11:09 am

          The only possible explanation for somebody thinking grass juice was a good idea was that they had either just spent seventeen years in a desert prison, or were convinced they were going to be reincarnated as a sacred cow.

          Liked by 1 person

  16. robert_trance_varga
    January 24, 2017 at 8:12 am

    Blewww, kale…even the thought of…and I live in a country where they love kale (Netherlands), famous everyday veggie, used for quite some…hmmm, dishes?! No thanks. And then making juice?! Seems a terrible idea to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 24, 2017 at 8:29 am

      But it’ll make you thin, which is obviously all that counts.

      Liked by 1 person

      • robert_trance_varga
        January 24, 2017 at 8:38 am

        Hahaha, these days even more than ever, hence the growing number of anorexia patients. The idea must come from their beloved smartphone manufacturers: thinner, lighter, less durable, yay!!

        Liked by 1 person

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