Demotivational Posters for Writers

Following on from last week’s post, which made us all envision a team of fresh-faced enthusiastic writers, chucked into the lion’s den that is a London hedge fund, I found myself wondering what their office would be like.

Would it be a triumph of modernist minimalism, all glass and chrome, with the odd adornment of bamboo? Or would it be a throwback, stuck somewhere around 1997, festooned with greys and beiges, with undeniably depressing motivational posters adding to the gloom?

And then I thought – this hedge fund seems to have thought things through quite a lot already. They have the psychometric tests all lined up and ready to go. Mightn’t they be more likely to go for something a little less obvious?

Of course they would.

I therefore now present to you – the Demotivational Posters of the Hedge Fund Writers’ Office.

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  48 comments for “Demotivational Posters for Writers

  1. June 10, 2018 at 11:49 am

    Oh, these are fun! I can see a whole gallery full of these 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. June 10, 2018 at 11:56 am

    Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. June 10, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    Loved these.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. June 10, 2018 at 1:22 pm

    Reblogged this on Viv Drewa – The Owl Lady.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. June 10, 2018 at 2:39 pm

    Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. June 10, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    Seems about right, sadly, Tara. I think these could all work as promos for that fictional writers reality show I pitched a while back ;-D

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 10, 2018 at 5:01 pm

      Not just pitched, Helen – SOLD! (to me, anyway). Every new season that doesn’t deliver on your writers’ reality show is a disappointment to me worthy of a demotivational poster all by itself 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jack "Blimprider" Tyler
    June 10, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    Never seen it put better! Linking this in tomorrow’s blog; the newbies I write for will love it…

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 10, 2018 at 5:07 pm

      Oh, excellent stuff, Jack. There’s nothing more inspiring than demotivating the newly enthused. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jack "Blimprider" Tyler
        June 10, 2018 at 5:10 pm

        Hey, the sooner you lose that “rich and famous” dream, the easier it’s going to be!

        Liked by 1 person

        • June 10, 2018 at 5:17 pm

          I couldn’t agree more. Except perhaps if you’d ended that sentence with ‘to live in penury and despair’

          Liked by 1 person

          • Jack "Blimprider" Tyler
            June 10, 2018 at 5:20 pm

            Nah. Better to leave it open-ended, for that one-in-a-million that’s going to make it!

            Liked by 1 person

  8. June 10, 2018 at 6:08 pm

    Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. June 10, 2018 at 7:43 pm

    Or “Think you’re a writer?” “Hahahahahahaha”
    How about, “You paid how much to enter that competition?”
    “If you can take rejection you can be a writer.”
    Writers… all you need do is write. And come up with a plot, write it, edit it, re write it, edit it, almost show it to someone then hide it under your bed for the remainder of your lifetime.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. June 10, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    I don’t think these aren’t on the hedge fund office walls. They’re on the walls of the bar next door. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 10, 2018 at 9:06 pm

      That’s a good point, Diana. And possibly also a good pint. I was quite thirsty, in fairness. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      • June 10, 2018 at 9:13 pm

        The hedge fund should invest in the bar, too! They win if the writer becomes a star, and win if they don’t. 😀 Is my cynicism showing? ha ha.

        Liked by 1 person

        • June 10, 2018 at 10:31 pm

          Just a little, Diana. But you’ll need a whole lot more if you’re going to make it investment banking 😉

          Liked by 1 person

  11. June 11, 2018 at 2:41 am

    SELL THESE!!! Honestly. You’ll make some dough. Oh wait. We don’t have money to pay you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 11, 2018 at 8:09 am

      It’s a flaw in my business plan, I admit, Melodie. I may have to turn to extortion. I believe it’s big in some circles.

      Like

  12. June 11, 2018 at 11:25 am

    The hedge fund is surely going to give you a pension in gratitude.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 11, 2018 at 12:03 pm

      Never mind the pension – I’ll happily settle for several big fat annual bonuses instead 😂

      Like

  13. June 11, 2018 at 1:12 pm

    How about:

    “Be PROUD of writing a book, a chapter, a page, a sentence.
    Be proud because…
    …NOBODY ELSE GIVES A F**K”

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 11, 2018 at 1:53 pm

      It’s good, Nick, but could you tighten it up a bit? I don’t want to criticise, but this is writing, so…….

      Liked by 1 person

  14. June 12, 2018 at 7:21 pm

    Haha! Great post! I needed a good laugh. Yet p, there’s truth there…

    Liked by 1 person

  15. June 14, 2018 at 3:50 pm

    Feeling wonderfully demotivated and liberated now, thanks Tara. I can see these on the backs of toilet doors, which is where many writers seem to find inspiration. One glance at these and they’d soon realise their ideas are pants, or a pile of sh**e. Your work is done… dare I say good job? Oh I do love a bit of toilet humour! Seriously though, have you ever thought about going into advertising?

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 4:37 pm

      Oh my Blog yeah, Ali, I even tried it once, but got fired before long. Apparently I had a serious professional handicap called ‘a penchant for the truth’

      Like

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