10 Reasons Why Being A Writer Is Like Being Santa Claus

Merry List-mas! It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but before everyone stops reading blogs for Christmas, there is time for a top ten.

So, in the spirit of one of my favourite posts from the last year (10 Reasons Why Being A Writer Is Like Working In Middle Management), here’s a seasonal take on the writing life.

 

10 Reasons Why Being A Writer Is Like Being Santa Claus

Santa Be a Writer

 

1.   Most people don’t believe in you. You’re not even sure if you believe in yourself.

2.   Your greatest work is done alone, or in remote locations.

3.   You work for free.

4.   You have a long and illustrious cultural history, but people are always questioning your future.

5.   You’ve worked bloody hard for a very long time to get where you are. But as soon as people hear of you, they think you’re an overnight success.

6.   You’re constantly asking people what they want, but no matter what they tell you, they always seem to prefer a surprise.

7.   You despair sometimes, that your work will ever be appreciated: but just when you feel exhausted and beaten, you find that someone has left you a carrot.

8.   Your customers can be fickle. One day, you’re all they can talk about; the next, you don’t exist.

9.   You get little or no thanks for the work you do. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

10.  You work as hard as you can, for as long as you can. But in order to really succeed, you’re always going to need just a little bit of magic.

 

******************

As always, any additions to the list welcome in the comments. I have to go now and eat an 8-course lunch, making sure I finish the current bottle of port before I open the next. I have standards, dammit.

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  46 comments for “10 Reasons Why Being A Writer Is Like Being Santa Claus

  1. December 11, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    haha LOVE this! 6 & 7 made me do a LOL in particular 😉

    Like

    • December 11, 2014 at 1:22 pm

      Glad to hear it! I suppose I really should stop moaning so much at Christmas, but it’s just our way!

      Like

  2. December 11, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    Yep, number 8!

    Hoping Santa Claus brings me some really smart notepads, that just beg me to doodle and write in them!

    Like

    • December 11, 2014 at 2:58 pm

      Given your recent experiences with a certain retail giant, I’m not surprised you hit on number 8! And I hope you’ve been screaming loud enough for Santy to hear you 😉

      Like

  3. December 11, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    The hardest part of the work that does not get recognized is that of managing all the Elves, ensuring that they are able to deliver while working within the labor laws of the land!

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 11, 2014 at 7:28 pm

      I used to dream of equal rights under employment law. But I was told that was just too elfish.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. December 11, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    You got me at the port. I really am not having a good run in to Christmas. There is a bottle of vintage in the press (for more than a decade). I resolve to crack it open open and swill it with a bit of stilton before the season is out.

    Like

    • December 11, 2014 at 7:33 pm

      You might want to decant that! But it should be none the worse for patience. Port doesn’t last kissing time in this house. A good 12×12 round of stilton should do the trick for you. And I hope your pre-Christmas revelry behaves itself…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. December 11, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    It’s good to know that someone understands me. I shall now spare a thought for Father C this Christmas.

    Like

    • December 11, 2014 at 11:37 pm

      Loads of people will be sparing him a thought this Christmas. You should be sparing your thoughts for yourself 😉

      Like

  6. December 12, 2014 at 2:52 am

    Reblogged this on chrismcmullen and commented:
    Maybe we authors should start climbing down chimneys to deliver our books… 🙂 Another way we’re like Santa is that we spend the entire year trying to bring joy to the world, and stay up all night for the big day.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. December 12, 2014 at 10:53 am

    Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog….. An Author Promotions Enterprise! and commented:
    Tara’s A Festive slant on this topic 😀

    Like

  8. December 12, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Writers really do make good Santas. He spends all year making toys for kids and gives them away for nothing and that’s certainly what happens with the pearls of wisdom from this blogger but it’s almost time for New Year’s resolutions. Must get manuscripts to publisher next year…or else! Have a Merry Christmas xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 12, 2014 at 12:06 pm

      Sounds like a righteous plan to me! Merry Christmas to you too, Rowena, and the very best of luck with your submissions in 2015 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. December 12, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    You’ve just ‘made’ my Christmas. Each one on your list is write on, I mean, right on. THANKS! 🙂

    Like

  10. December 12, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Reblogged this on YOURS IN STORYTELLING… and commented:
    You do know that it is only thirteen days to Christmas, don’t you?

    Like

    • December 12, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      I didn’t, actually. 13 days? PANIC STATIONS!! Thanks Steve 😉

      Like

  11. December 12, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    I love this post. ❤

    Like

  12. December 12, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    A carrot! I won’t get out of bed for anything less than two mince pies.

    Like

    • December 12, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      Two mince pies? Well, it’s easy to see it’s far from a recession you were reared. Out of sympathy I’ll give you three, and a bushel of the orangey yokes.

      Like

      • December 12, 2014 at 4:02 pm

        From which, of course, you will subtract 15%, plus postage…

        Like

        • December 12, 2014 at 4:18 pm

          And an administration fee of double the application times 7.5…

          Like

  13. December 12, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    This is really clever, and I have to admit the title made me stop and think. My initial impression was that as Santa, I was giving away a lot of books for free.

    Like

    • December 12, 2014 at 11:22 pm

      Also true, Noelle, in very many cases, sadly enough. We can add that to the list. And thank you for visiting my dark corner of the Internet with your kind words!

      Like

  14. December 13, 2014 at 12:39 am

    Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.

    Like

  15. December 13, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    I love this

    1. Most people don’t believe in you. You’re not even sure if you believe in yourself.

    and especially this

    6. You’re constantly asking people what they want, but no matter what they tell you, they always seem to prefer a surprise

    This pins down the essence of being a storyteller better than anything I’ve ever read.
    And of course, this is like being Santa Claus 😉

    Like

    • December 13, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      Such a relief to hear that. I’ve been trying to distil the essence of being a storytelling for so long. But I always thought I used too much alcohol 😉

      Like

  16. December 17, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    mwah hahaargh! Class! Loved it. Especially number 5.

    Cheers

    MTM

    Like

  17. Richard Sutton
    December 20, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    I believe. When the old writer shows up near my hearth, there’s always a wee dram waiting for him.

    Like

    • December 21, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      I didn’t realise it was supposed to be wee. I’ve been leaving out flagons. I feel cheated.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Diana Stevan
    December 23, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Love this. Glad to have found your blog through The Story Reading Ape. So true, especially the carrot. And yes, I wouldn’t stop writing for anything. It’s in my blood. There is no choice. Have a Merry Christmas and all the best in the New Year.

    Like

    • December 24, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      And a very merry Christmas too to you and yours, Diana… Here’s to carrots galore in 2015 for us all!

      Like

  19. mrdislaw
    December 24, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    If we’re like Santa Claus then how come we’re not famous!

    Like

    • December 24, 2014 at 1:34 pm

      I could say that it’s because there is only 1 Santa Claus and rather more of us… But no need to be disheartened. Santa is rather seasonal and we want staying power!

      Like

  20. December 24, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    SO creative, Tara! Well I suppose we are playing Santa year round 🙂 Merry Christmas!

    Like

    • December 24, 2014 at 10:43 pm

      Merry Christmas Christie, and thanks so much for all your support this year… Wishing you every success in 2015 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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