10 Reasons Why Being A Writer Is Like Being Santa Claus

Merry List-mas! It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but before everyone stops reading blogs for Christmas, there is time for a top ten.

So, in the spirit of one of my favourite posts from the last year (10 Reasons Why Being A Writer Is Like Working In Middle Management), here’s a seasonal take on the writing life.

 

10 Reasons Why Being A Writer Is Like Being Santa Claus

 

1.   Most people don’t believe in you. You’re not even sure if you believe in yourself.

2.   Your greatest work is done alone, or in remote locations.

3.   You work for free.

4.   You have a long and illustrious cultural history, but people are always questioning your future.

5.   You’ve worked bloody hard for a very long time to get where you are. But as soon as people hear of you, they think you’re an overnight success.

6.   You’re constantly asking people what they want, but no matter what they tell you, they always seem to prefer a surprise.

7.   You despair sometimes, that your work will ever be appreciated: but just when you feel exhausted and beaten, you find that someone has left you a carrot.

8.   Your customers can be fickle. One day, you’re all they can talk about; the next, you don’t exist.

9.   You get little or no thanks for the work you do. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

10.  You work as hard as you can, for as long as you can. But in order to really succeed, you’re always going to need just a little bit of magic.

 

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As always, any additions to the list welcome in the comments. I have to go now and eat an 8-course lunch, making sure I finish the current bottle of port before I open the next. I have standards, dammit.