The Laziest Holiday In The World (With Mind-Blowing Photographs)

The Laziest Holiday In The World (With Mind-Blowing Photographs)

My office this week. I am not joking. Well, okay, I might have been joking about the mind-blowing photographs, but not about my office.

I took a holiday this week. At home. In Dublin. It was almost entirely unplanned, in that I only decided to have a holiday last Friday, and I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do any of the stuff you’re supposed to do on holidays in order to call it a holiday.

Here is a list of the stuff people do on holidays, which I did not do this week.

1. Go somewhere

2. Eat out

3. Buy souvenirs

4. Have a fight with someone dear to me

5. Clock up any experiences which would warrant a mention even if you were only mentioning them on the phone to the sort of mother who would happily listen to a rundown of your last toilet break

Here is what I did this week instead.

1. Lie down.

I did this a lot. I did it mostly indoors, on my bed, but sometimes I did it in the garden when the sun was shining. I cannot describe how nice this was. All of the lying down was fairly fantastic, if I’m honest.

2. Get better.

I had been ill, then I went back to work, and I was iller, which was so unkind. That’s the reason I took this week off. And my cunning plan worked. I cannot even describe how smug I feel right now.

3. Walk along the same route I walk into work, only when not walking to work, making it bloody lovely.

And I took this photograph of the kind of Irish graffiti which makes life worth living.

The Laziest Holiday In The World (With Mind-Blowing Photographs)

Is it ‘Feck. I can’t get down from here’? Or is it ‘Egad: my existentialist suffering should be proclaimed high enough for all the world to see’?

4. Get abducted by aliens.

One minute I was taking a photograph, and then…

The Laziest Holiday In The World (With Mind-Blowing Photographs)

I did wonder for a moment was this Twitter, arriving for a visit, in person

5. Go back in time.

There is a rather splendid rose garden beside where I live. I mean beside. Right beside me. You go out my front door, then around one corner, then around another, and there it is. And I only visit it about twice a year. I know. I’m a disgrace. But I wandered in this week and lo and behold, there the prickly little blighters were, in all the 5-minute wonder of a thoroughly full bloom. I am reliably informed that they are very late this year because of the spufincular malatemporal flux [meteorological white noise], or whatever the hell it was that happened in June.

But I was standing there, looking at the roses, and I suddenly realised that I was standing in a 1960s jigsaw. Or a 1970s postcard. All jigsaws and postcards in the 1960s and 1970s had rose gardens in them. They were bloody obsessed. As soon as they got mass colour photography they lost the run of themselves with the shagging roses. But anyway, there I was. Back in time.

The Laziest Holiday In The World (With Mind-Blowing Photographs)

This is every photograph ever taken in the 1960s. Poorly lit roses. Somewhat unreal looking. Like it smells ever-so-slightly of old cardboard.

And so we have it. The laziest holiday in the world. Not bad for someone who didn’t go anywhere.

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  48 comments for “The Laziest Holiday In The World (With Mind-Blowing Photographs)

  1. Ciara
    July 2, 2015 at 8:26 am

    Sounds deadly, not even one tiny bit jealous….that graffiti is hysterical!

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 10:56 am

      Right up your street, Ciara, in fact. I must bring you on the graffiti tour of Dubbalin.

      Like

  2. July 2, 2015 at 8:30 am

    Brilliant, Tara! Delighted to hear you are on the mend! I envy you your so-last-century cardboard rose gardens and your lie-down-a-lot-and-get-better hols. I think Tark and Mara should package them so there can be one for everyone in the audience! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 10:57 am

      Could you imagine what it’d turn into if Tark and Mara got their hands on the concept? Monetising indolence – we’d all be ruined!

      Mind you, now that you say it…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. July 2, 2015 at 8:53 am

    I’m glad to hear that we were not the only ones to have a spufincular malatemporal flux this June. I thought it might be confined to New England. Yours is the kind of vacation to have. No frenetic activity. No thousands of pictures to bore your friends and frenemies. No sunburns in inappropriate places. And to actually get healthier on a vacation? Heresy. I’m jealous.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 10:58 am

      I did feel a bit bad about it for a while, admittedly – I mean, what’s the point of going on holidays if not to bombard your frenemies with ‘look at my wonderful life’ photographs? But your jealousy has made it all better. Hahah!

      Like

  4. July 2, 2015 at 9:26 am

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better, and that graffiti made me laugh out loud 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 10:59 am

      It’s just spot on, isn’t it Helen? Sometimes it’s the most life-affirming art imaginable 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. July 2, 2015 at 9:56 am

    I hope you left a comment on Trip Advisor.

    Lots of food for thought considering the holiday was so passive. I’m particularly disturbed by the graffiti shot. I think it’s proof of glacial heave; the uplifting of the ground as Ice Age glaciers retreat and the weight of the ice diminishes. The word ‘feck’ was probably at head height 70 000 years ago, but look at it now because of glacial heave.

    I would take issue with you about the rose garden. If you go round one corner and then round a second corner it’s technically behind you, not beside you. A trivial observation, but one that might require losing or gaining a star on Trip Advisor.

    And your office is the first one I’ve seen that has a replica villa in the style of Le Corbusier. Fantastic.

    Chris

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 11:03 am

      Comments like this are the reason I blog, Chris. You almost ruined my holiday by forcing me to make a sudden movement in order to avoid choking on my breakfast, but the guffaw made up for it. I agree with you on the glacial heave – very astute of you – but disagree on the rose garden issue. After all, it all depends on which way you’re facing when you’re in the loo, when you think about it. I’ll see you on TripAdvisor.

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 2, 2015 at 11:16 am

        You didn’t mention loos. (Make sure you do on Trip Advisor.) I could get very – almost used the word anal then, which isn’t a good idea after a sentence about loos – but if you’re at right angles to the rose garden when you’re in the loo, that must mean you leave the house walking sideways in order . . . oh it doesn’t matter! I concede.

        But isn’t glacial heave fascinating? You never know where or how it might manifest. It’s one reason why the beach at Southport is shrinking.

        Liked by 1 person

        • July 2, 2015 at 11:27 am

          Good grief, Chris, if I’d known that was behind the Southport beach shrinkage, I’d never have been so blasé about it! I do apologise. I appreciate your concern on the geographical finer points, but if you’re going to be anal about it, as far as rose gardens are concerned, it’s all fertiliser to me.

          Like

  6. July 2, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Sounds like a great holiday. Glad to hear you are on the mend. …a bit of a poem for you (not one of mine!)

    EARLY ROSE (by Stephen Hough)

    To the garden, awake,
    Tiptoe, quick, go
    Slick-stairs down the
    Steps to the pre-dew
    Night morn before the
    Dawn’s birth is born.
    Follow to the foliage where,
    Hidden as the future’s
    Fall or rise, the rose –
    Petals closed – will bud-burst
    A billion atoms of beauty.

    Let us bend down, our faces
    Towards the flower which
    Wakes and trembles
    In that pause of hour.
    Let us say the words which
    Shake or stumble
    In day’s poor prose, pour
    Verse into the stamen’s
    Quivering cup.

    So when the day dries
    Dreams, wakes dew, and
    Sunplay in dazzling green
    Or hue, the perfume from
    That secret rose will
    Breathe our poem to every
    Nose: sigh language of love;
    Encrypted script of ecstasy.

    Liked by 4 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 11:05 am

      And comments like this are another reason I blog, Adrian – how beautiful is that? Makes me ashamed to deride the poor roses. I’ll have to take another photo today to rectify it. Also, can we appoint you official Quotation Master?

      Like

  7. July 2, 2015 at 10:25 am

    That sounds like a great holiday to me!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. carolannwrites
    July 2, 2015 at 10:52 am

    I agree with Bernadette. This holiday is a Tark and Mara package… Glad your feeling better Am a little worried that you didn’t once mention having a glass o’ the red stuff but I suppose you were recovering… I’ll have to have a few glasses for you ’till you feel completely better. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 11:08 am

      I’m trying a new online persona, Carolann, where I’m a fine upstanding member of society who only drinks tea and smiles at local pensioners. It’s exhausting. I need a holiday from it. And you must make your next glass a toast to holidays everywhere!

      Liked by 2 people

  9. July 2, 2015 at 10:54 am

    Living the life Tara. I hope you had time to have a nice cup of tea on your jollies 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. July 2, 2015 at 10:59 am

    Sounds absolutely delightful, and what a week you picked! Feck is right.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. July 2, 2015 at 11:34 am

    A photographic graffiti tour of our capital city Tara now there is an idea worth considering.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 12:13 pm

      I could be the Nigel Rees of the 21st century! Mind you, if I could do half as well as he did out of his graffiti books, I’d be laughing (and permanently on holidays)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. July 2, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    I always need a vacation after my vacation. I should probably take a page out of your book and just stay home next time! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 2:41 pm

      Well, Nicholas, if I lived in Greece, I would probably stay at home all the time. But I suppose you might get sick of all those azure skies, sparkling waters and eating al fresco. Which is of course what everyone does in Greece every day, according to those of us living in temperamental, sorry, I mean temperate, climates.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. July 2, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    Crikey! You’re right! My granddad used to collect postcards,and yes, red, pink and yellow roses, everywhere! …and in those old fashioned tinted/coloured postcards too… lol

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      They were like a plague, weren’t they, Lisa? And all the jigsaws. My family had swarms of them. If I saw one jigsaw of an old building with a rose garden as a child, I saw a thousand.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. July 2, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    I got so zoned out reading about your lazy holiday that I nearly didn’t comment! 😛 Lurve the graffiti 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 2:44 pm

      When I saw it, Jan, I did think ‘who needs writers when we have graffiti artists like that’!

      Like

  15. July 2, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    You’re hilarious. And what WAS that cloud???

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 4:08 pm

      A lenticular one, apparently. Dublin was covered in them on Tuesday, but not many as spectacular as the one over my head. There’s a long explanation on Wikipedia about how they’re formed, but my holidays were far too short to understand it.

      Like

  16. July 2, 2015 at 10:38 pm

    Love the graffiti – it’s so shy. I’ve had a lovely but opposite kind of week doing the retirement fandango (alternating moves: hang out of upper windows to fill in rotten ledges with resin mixture; dive into the greenhouse to rescue wilting tomatoes and re-erect fallen screening; hit desk and catch up with accounts/blog/revision of POW manuscript/printing of said MS for two influential readers; another layer of resin; greenhouse; desk etc). I’ve left out the basics (shop/cook/wash) and extras (4 hour round trip to friends exhibition). There’s much to be said for your version.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 2, 2015 at 11:40 pm

      That’s not retirement, Hilary, that’s full-time employment! By all means take a leaf out of my book, and make a plan to make no plans. I deliberately set no writing goals this week either, and still got a tiny bit done. But overall, my scientific experiment has proven this to be The Best Week In The World (TM).

      Liked by 1 person

  17. July 6, 2015 at 12:15 am

    Be sure to go away on holidays more often, Tara; it does me laughter the world of good.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. July 6, 2015 at 9:12 am

    Clearly a lesson in this for us all!

    Liked by 2 people

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