It’s that time of year again, folks. And I need your vote. Twice. I’ve been shortlisted in the Blog Awards Ireland 2015 in two categories – Best Art & Culture Blog and Best Marketing & Communications Blog. (Well, not me, technically, this blog has, but why split hairs when none of you have any idea that my blog is actually written by a team of angry vegetarian pixies I keep suspended in a net bag, hanging from the ceiling of my pantry?)
Anyhoo, I need to debase myself yet again by asking a favour. In order to make the great leap from the shortlist to the final, I need your votes, and lots of them. Pleeeeeeease vote for me. Then get your family, your friends and your enemies to vote too. I am begging. I am prostrating myself in front of your mighty voting fingers. I am even asking nicely, and we all know how rarely that happens.
You can vote for me in Best Art & Culture Blog here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/3GZTK6T
And also in Best Marketing & Communications Blog here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6YMVL68
Just scroll down the list until you see ‘Tara Sparling Writes’ and click in the circle beside it to vote. Voting is only open for 2 weeks between September 7 – 21 so please vote before it closes, because getting your fingers caught may not be pleasant.
There Is A Tenuous Link To The Title Of This Post
I thought long and hard about what to do to make it worth your while clicking on not just one, but two links, in order to give me what I want (oh yes). And I couldn’t think of a damn thing, so I thought I’d just threaten you instead.
With that in mind, here are 5 Reasons Why You Should Vote For Me In The Blog Awards This Year.
- If you don’t vote for me, I will kill this bunny. He lives in the park across the road from me. If I don’t make it past this shortlist stage, I am going to go right over there and read him E.L. James’ Grey until he tries to escape by running into oncoming traffic.
- If you don’t vote for me, I will find out which toy is going to be the must-have Thing this Christmas and buy every single one of them in the world so that the children of the world cannot have any. Christmas will be ruined. And it will be your fault.
- If you don’t vote for me, I will write the world’s most annoying pop song, and employ Chinese hackers to make it the permanent ring tone on your phone.
- If you don’t vote for me, I will tell your loved ones what you did last Friday. (You know who you are.)
- And finally, if you do vote for me, I will promise that when I am President of the World (2018-ish), I will not subject you to 23 tax audits in my first month of office.
Go on. You know you want to. Vote early and vote once, ’cause that’s all you’re allowed to do (they have this one nailed down in Blog Awards Ireland HQ). Then get your 2,304 Facebook friends to vote. Because I only have 6, and none of them are talking to me since the yoghurt selfie incident.
So there you have it, folks. If I get enough votes, I’ll make it to the final, and be judged by a panel of scary important people. If I don’t get enough votes, there will be dead bunnies, crying children, phone rage, broken families, and more tax hell than you can even contemplate. Thank you for your consideration.