Following on in the same vein of popular posts such as “I Hate Women’s Fiction And I’ll Tell You Why” and “Adventures In Book Genre Stereotyping“, we here at Bookology HQ are now inordinately pleased to bring you:
10 Classic Novels
(Described By Their Publishers, As Though They Were By Female Authors)
1. Heart Of Darkness by Josephine Conrad
Two men face off in the African jungle in this world-famous tale of what happens when men are parted too long from the women in their lives.
2. Great Expectations by Charlotte Dickens
She wore the most beautiful dress in all of England. But Miss Havisham’s wedding gown became a prison from which only the next generation could set her free. Would her disappointment ruin love’s young dream? And would there ever be another bride in Satis House?
3. Tess Of The d’Urbervilles by Thomasina Hardy
In a small village in the English heartland, renowned beauty Tess Durbeyfield will do anything to save her family and beloved sister from starvation. But when the handsome aristocrat Alec d’Urberville tears her away from the dashing and worthy Angel Clare, Tess finds out that rural romance is not all ribbons and wedding cake.
4. The Name Of The Rose by Umberta Eco
A handsome young monk finds himself in conflict with the old order in a Benedictine monastery set high in the verdant Italian hills. But what murderous secrets does Adso of Melk discover in the closely-guarded library? And will he be able to resist the temptations of the tantalising peasant girl who threatens all he holds holy?
5. War And Peace by Leonora Tolstoy
These young, rich aristocrats have it all, until they discover that the fearsome Napoleon is closer to their gilt-threaded bed curtains than they thought. Will true love and high society be able to withstand the violence of men’s lust pour la guerre… et les femmes?
6. 1984 by Georgina Orwell
In a totalitarian regime there is no room for love, but one brave man risks everything to prove that we cannot ignore the beatings…. of our hearts.
7. The Great Gatsby by Effie Scott Fitzgerald
Jay Gatsby is the man every man wants to be, and every woman wants to be with. But only one woman is the key to Gatsby’s secret heartache: can she stop counting her shoes long enough to swap one man’s credit card for another?
8. Lolita by Vladimira Nabokov
Growing up is tough. As 12-year-old Lolita navigates the turbulent waters of puberty, she finds that she is the girl of Humbert Humbert’s dreams. But she soon learns – how clever of her! – that no man lives on dreams alone.
9. The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscra Wilde
Devilishly handsome Dorian Gray has discovered the secret to anti-ageing, and is hiding it in his attic. He will do anything to protect it, but at what cost? Is there really an alternative to ruinously expensive face cream? Only time, and one mysterious portrait, will tell.
10. The Trial by Franzes Kafka
Josef K. just wants to live an ordinary life and marry the beautiful Frau Bürstner. But when he is singled out by mysterious forces in the criminal justice system, he despairs of ever knowing whether or not she loves him in return.