I am obliged to apologise in advance for the next seven days of hell. Because I have been shortlisted in two categories for the Littlewoods Ireland Blog Awards 2016, and this is not good (for you).
I know that some of the some of you come here expecting to be entertained. Others just come to find out what I’m giving out about this week. Some of you come here because of click-baity post titles, only to find out that I’ve basically lured you here under false pretences, and I do not in fact have shocking pictures of Donald Trump sitting on the toilet, applying panstick with a tortilla, starkers save for his nuclear-white collar.
The “But” Part (as opposed to the “butt” implied in the title)
You don’t expect to be harassed. You don’t expect to have to hear repetitive whiny nonsense for seven days straight, begging you to (digitally) go somewhere and do something, from someone who ordinarily aims for the unexpected.
However, the pain is not all on your side. You have no idea what it costs for an Irish cynic to debase herself like this. My brow is sweating as I type. My arms feel scaly. My left eye is twitching, and my tongue is trying to convince me that alcohol is a perfectly acceptable breakfast drink.Embed from Getty Images
Why Am I Doing This To Myself
I’m not known for soft spots, but I have one for these awards, not only because winning one back in 2014 was a fecking lovely thing which was so good for the blog it almost made me a nice person, but also because any year I make it to the latter stages I never fail to meet new readers and bloggers whose sense of humour shares the same cell block as my own.
This year, there’s a new category for Books & Literature, which is brilliant, because the Arts & Culture category last year was more packed than the Sardines ❤ One Direction 4Ever Fan Club bus. I’ve also been shortlisted in the Best Blog Post category for my bilious takedown of Women’s Fiction.
The Butt Part
I explained in short(s) last week why I bought the blog new pants. But now that I have, and I’ve also drawn this out enough to pretend it’s an actual blog post, would you mind going and voting for me? Pleeeeeeeease?
All you have to do is register with a name and e-mail address to create an account (as you’re only allowed to vote once in each category). The links will bring you directly to the voting button for this blog.
Voting is only open from today for 7 days. But hey. It’s so easy Donald Trump could do it. It’s true. I’m 100% certain of this. And that’s a fact.
Vote for me in the Books & Literature Category here
Vote for me in the Best Blog Post Category here