Superblogger Chapter 4: How To Make Dough From Your Food Blog

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Hi hi Fans and Famished Foodies!!

I’m so super sorry I didn’t blog last week, but it was because I was having such a mad weekend with all my crazy private celeb friends that I swear I didn’t even INSTA. It totally wasn’t because I had flu and looked totally gross – absolutely not.

But this week I want to talk to you about the most important thing that you can do to both your social life and and your body. And that’s making great-looking food.

For me personally, food is all about the eating. My food may not get shared on Instagram every single time like other bloggers’, but I don’t care as long as it tastes really, really, really good.

Some bloggers will spend hours setting up the perfect shots from every angle, using professional lighting rigs and the best cameras money can buy, not to mention climbing up ladders to take shots from the ceiling. Seriously, the time, blood, sweat and tears they put into it is INSPIRING. Really.

How to Make Dough From Your Food Blog

I really respect them for this, and think they’re all totally amazing for spending so long on photographing their food that it’s cold by the time they’re finished so nobody really gets to eat it.

But I like to concentrate on just preparing really, really, really great food for my friends and family. My photos may not win any awards, but that doesn’t matter as long as everyone tells me how good it tastes. It’s true that you can’t taste food online, but who cares when my besties Insta their clean plates and ask for more?

As I said, I don’t really mind if my food shots and vlogs don’t win any prizes, or even necessarily show how really yummy everything is, because my fans just know from the expressions on the faces of my friends how amazing it is. So my advice to you would be: don’t sacrifice taste for waste – or licks for likes!

On a totally separate note – and only because so many people ask me this question, like, all the time: How many celebrities should you have at your dinner party?

The answer is, of course, never more than you have enough forks for!! Ha, ha!

(I don’t mind saying that even though my food is renowned for its fabulousness, it’s exactly this kind of witty banter that keeps my guests coming back, every time)

How to Make Dough From Your Food Blog

I’m always taking pictures of my food when I eat out, just so I don’t end up making the same amateur mistakes as professional chefs

Special Topic: Your Signature Dish: The Ultimate Recipe For Success

Everyone needs their own signature dish. Some of the biggest food bloggers have even more than one signature dish, but let’s face it, they so obviously all want to be celebrity chefs, so they have to.

But when you’re a top blogger like me already, all you need is the one kick-ass dish which silences your critics and shows them all how good you are. I developed this dish together with Jean-Pierre Tastier, the celebrity chef famous for the most fashionable food in Europe. Jean-Pierre (JP to his #besties) knows how important food bloggers are for success, and even makes Insta-ready images available to the diners in his exclusive restaurant, Bon Goût, before they reach the table. As JP says – why #Insta when you can #Outsta!

Over two hot, intense days in JP’s kitchen, we were FINALLY ready to release my masterpiece to the world. A select few or you may know this recipe already, because it was featured on Discover WordPress, along with Good Looking Food Magazine, Great Looking Food Magazine, Best Looking Food Online and Eat Me Now!

 

Ingredients

3 Whole Rare Abysinnian Truffles

100g Horizontal Sprouting Broccoli

1 cup Avocado Roe

3 cups Nasturtium Pea Shoots

24 oz. Split Samphire Pesto

3 tbsp. Peccadillo Oil

1 tsp. Kobe Beef Mince

½ sack Extra Virgin Coconut Flour

Bhut Jolokia Chilli Flakes (to taste)

Dead Sea Salt & Pepper

 

Method

Prepare the Abysinnian truffles as normal. Blend the avocado roe, Kobe beef mince and Peccadillo oil in a 3” ramekin before sealing in a standard sous vide bag and placing in your luxury brand water bath at 32˚ for 6 days and 73 minutes.

While that’s cooking, place the horizontal sprouting broccoli and samphire pesto into liquid nitrogen for 2.75 seconds and set aside to smoke.

When the sous-vide beef is picture-perfect, lightly flash grill the mince on both sides and assemble on a monogrammed coconut flour plate with the samphire broccoli in a 70˚ parabola over the fifth-left quadrant. Devil the nasturtium pea shoots and dress with de-glazed chilli flakes, adding them to the plate as soon as the samphire broccoli has stopped sighing.

 

Always a sure-fire winner with my celeb guests and bound to leave them wowed every time – with, I think you’ll agree, no last-minute fuss. It’s never let me down yet! You’re welcome!!

 

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  34 comments for “Superblogger Chapter 4: How To Make Dough From Your Food Blog

  1. February 10, 2019 at 10:57 am

    I am so sorry Tara,I followed your recipe exactly and it tasted awful. I now have no friends left at all. 😦 The last one is suing me for physical and mental abuse. how do I post this on your Instagram page?

    Liked by 2 people

    • February 10, 2019 at 12:41 pm

      I’m so sorry you weren’t able to follow Superblogger’s instructions properly, Lucinda. How awful for you. If I might venture some advice, I wouldn’t put your utter failure up on anyone’s Instagram, including your own. If you’re realising you need a bit more expert help, please feel free to join my new online Cooking For The Chronically Untalented course for 124.99 (a month). You’re welcome!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. February 10, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    Bugger! I was going to cook this today and post tomorrow. Now I have to scrabble around for something else.

    The ladder thing is very close to the reality of it. I don’t approve of you ratting me out.

    Liked by 2 people

    • February 10, 2019 at 12:43 pm

      If only you could see my face, Conor, you’d see how implacably and undeniably innocent I look right now. I would NEVER rat you out. Not even about that time with the live pig and the nuclear spit roaster. Best of luck with the new recipe idea, although I do note that imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. February 10, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    Fabulous. The next time uncle constipation pops along I’ll be sure to try it. It has that sure fire emetic edge that will have my rellies hanging on….

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 10, 2019 at 12:51 pm

      OMG Geoff, that is TOTES AMAZING!! I will always remember this moment as the moment when I embarked on my new multi-million-euro business idea for Insta-ready laxatives that taste as good as they look!! I literally can’t believe nobody ever thought of this before… thank you thank you! #NoRoyalties

      Liked by 1 person

  4. February 10, 2019 at 8:18 pm

    I made it, and it looks fantastic! I’ve just spent two hours editing all the photos which I will now instagram. Follow me if you want to see them. Oh, and btw, it tastes gross.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 10, 2019 at 9:19 pm

      I’ll do better than follow you, Marina. I’ll put out the word on my own least favourite social media page, which will guarantee you MILLIONS of new followers within hours. I’ll do my best to follow you too, obviously, but can’t promise anything, I’ve been so busy… delighted you love my recipe so so much though!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. February 10, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    Thank goodness I rarely cook any more. I’ll save this for THE special occasion. Then I’ll make a few changes (which it desperately needs, and no, I’m not going to tell you what they are), and it will be so much better – and so mine. Might even create an INSTA account just to post it, but that’s so gauche, you know. Best to keep it the kind of secrets celebs love to share.

    Liked by 2 people

    • February 11, 2019 at 12:32 pm

      I’m so glad you’re on board and fully in the spirit of things, Alicia. I mean, with ‘Butcher’ in your name, we could expect nothing less. I just heard that Insta is like, totally over since lunchtime, so as long as you’re on the new best thing by dinner you should be fine.

      Like

  6. February 11, 2019 at 3:37 am

    ‘Peccadillo Oil’ … ::snerk::

    Liked by 1 person

  7. February 11, 2019 at 4:32 am

    I pretend your recipe called for fried chicken, french fries and beer. Oh, and….hope you don’t mind….we did take out. I’m also going to pretend your recipe called for that one too.

    Anyway…outstanding recipe. My guest loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. February 11, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    Damn it, I got in a muddle and smoked it all for too long. Seems I’m going to have to trot down to the chip shop. Damn, damn, damn.
    Sx

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 11, 2019 at 10:49 pm

      Superblogger is just flattered that you ever thought you could do it as well as they could, Ms Scarlet! I’d call that a day well spent!

      Like

  9. February 11, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    I’ll definitely be making this one again, but I found that a luxury water bath for any longer than 6 days and 23 minutes just made everything too soggy. My celebrity friends agree with me. Hope that helps!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 11, 2019 at 10:56 pm

      Oh yes, it certainly helps, Sarah! I multi-tasked while re-testing your method six times by unfollowing all of your social media accounts and blackening your name on Reddit. Thanks so much for your valuable contribution!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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