Tag: Tark and Mara

Tark and Mara Discover What That Awful Spatling Woman Was Really Up To

Tark and Mara Discover What That Awful Spalding Woman Was Really Up To

It seems Tark and Mara were not told the full truth behind being handed the reins of that mediocre blog in November, and they’re not happy about it. However, even mediocre bloggers should know that nobody gets the upper hand on these two for long.

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Tark and Mara Find A Champion For The Super-Rich

How I Learned To Cure My Anxiety With A Classic Smoky Eye

Dublin’s richest miscreants further their takeover of that awful Spalding woman’ blog, and their plans to turn the wealthiest 1% of the world into figures deserving of unconditional love and adoration. It’s all downhill from here.

The Sensational 2017 Review Of What Hasn’t Happened Yet

Your Sensational 2017 Review Of What Hasn't Happened Yet

I will be far too busy at the end of this year to look back over what happened in the book world in 2017, so I’m doing my review now, before any of it has happened. Those of you familiar with this shtick may be aware that my 2016 advance review may have accidentally heralded the apocalypse. Sorry about that. I’m not proud of it, but I’m afraid I can’t promise you sunshine and bunnies in 2017 either.

5 Blog Posts I Didn’t Write This Week

5 Blog Posts I Didn't Write This Week

And now, ladies and gentle man: in the grand old tradition of Lazy Summer Journalism, I present to you a list of potential blog posts I didn’t write this week, followed in some cases by a half-assed explanation for why I didn’t write them, and sometimes no explanation at all.

You’re welcome.

Probably The Most Disingenuous Blog Post In The World (With 45% Extra Lies)

It’s the time of year when all those involved in sales choose to ignore lovely loyal customers in favour of their shiny new ones. It’s a terrible state of affairs, which is why, in this blogging review of 2015, I have included several scandalous and downright disgusting lies, which only beloved old blog readers will be able to identify. These shocking, vile and unbelievable lies are only a clickbait, sorry, a click away!

Tark And Mara Create Post-Bloggerism

“I’m tired of blogging.” Tark pushed the 24 carat gold-plated Macbook away from him. Autumn sunshine danced through the stained-glass atrium of the Dublin penthouse, making a disco ball of Tark’s unwitting head. He looked at his wife, who was reclining on the 18th-century chaise longue upon which Marie Antoinette once gently farted following a massive feed of…