Over the course of the last couple of years spent crunching numbers for this blog, surfing dodgy creative social media and keeping my eyes open (in the darker hours) I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two pieces of advice all authors would do well to live by. The first is to stay far away from tight undergarments. The second is never to…
Tag: Writing
Only You Can Save A Bunny From Certain Death. Please Vote
It’s that time of year again, folks. And I need your vote. Twice. I’ve been shortlisted in the Blog Awards Ireland 2015 in two categories – Best Art & Culture Blog and Best Marketing & Communications Blog. (Well, not me, technically, this blog has, but why split hairs when none of you have any idea that my blog…
Yay! A New Book By Your Favourite Author! Except It Isn’t
I hope you’re ready for another barrage of articles about the new Stieg-Larsson-Not-Stieg-Larsson, because they’re queuing up like full bladders at a music festival Portaloo. But first, at the risk of incontinence, I would myself like to discuss the marketing phenomenon that is ‘Continuation Fiction’.* In the world of Continuation Fiction, the characters live on, even if the authors don’t. Or indeed,…
A Mindful Conversation With My Arse
The other day, my arse spoke to me, and imparted wisdom of great proportions. I didn’t know I’d been sitting on an oracle, but then there are lots of things I don’t know, such as pretty much everything that isn’t Googleable (seeing as nobody actually needs to remember anything about anything anymore). Now, there is wisdom to…
On Waiting Productively, And Why There Isn’t A Word For That
I’m not the world’s most patient person. This is an understatement, because to tell you how impatient I am would take too long. But I was forced to spend the last fortnight in a paroxysm of waiting. It made me think about what I could learn from it, because I write a blog, so I go around trying…
Tark And Mara Rail Against “Freshly Pressed” Injustice
All was not well in Tark and Mara Towers. Mara’s shrieks could be heard on Dublin’s Northside, unbeknownst to Mara, who would never knowingly have sent herself to that part of the city on purpose. The irony was lost on both her and her husband, however. They were too incensed. They were madder than Jean Galliano and the UKIP…
EL James Murdered Your Children And Stole Your Kidneys
…having insulted your dearly departed mother, and told everyone on Facebook that you love to torture dogs. At least, I think those are her latest crimes. I can’t be sure. There are so many. I love the Guardian. Don’t get me wrong. I embody many of the stereotypical attributes of a Guardian reader, except for…
The 7 Deadly Sins Of Best-Selling Authors
Help! Overwhelming success is ruining my legacy! Or at least it might, had I any actual success to speak of. As of right now, I have to say my legacy is looking fairly safe. But the other day, as I was perusing the all-powerful culture sections of the broadsheets, a thought suddenly struck me. Are successful authors derided…
It’s My Blogiversary, And I’m Having A Tantrum About Greedy Publishers
Today is my 2nd blogiversary. On this day, 2 years ago, I published my first blog post, little knowing how many lives I was going to ruin. (Chiefly mine, because constantly thinking of things to give out about gives me very little time to do anything but eat unhealthy food, and make obscene gestures at…
The Laziest Holiday In The World (With Mind-Blowing Photographs)
I took a holiday this week. At home. In Dublin. It was almost entirely unplanned, in that I only decided to have a holiday last Friday, and I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do any of the stuff you’re supposed to do on holidays in order to call it a holiday. Here is a list of the stuff people…
Tara Sparling writes 